Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Kat Scratch Fever, Choyclate Drops, Blogs & Burnt Skin

So, I've been sick with a sinus infection for the last week and on top of that, I had an episode of heat rash all over my abdomen and back. It's all my fault tho, I jumped my dumb ass head first into the tanning bed, 3 days in a row. Over exposure like a biatch. But anywho, I just want to rant with you for a moment.

Over the weekend, or through the week (can't really remember since I've doped up on cold meds and drenched in calamine lotion), along came a trick named Kat Stacks on twitter, claiming to have smashed the homies. The said homies are none other than some no name brand cats, Lil' Twist in particular, who is only 15 (I believe), and says that the "castmates" of Young Money are nothing but roommates that sleep in bunkbeds. You may ask, if Kat Snatch indeed hit that (Lil' Twist), who are the people condoning her pedophiliac antics? Plenny heauxs. If you haven't seen her youtube, let me suggest you grab a Rosetta Stone: Heauxshit Speak, but I'd rather send you over to my choyclate drop Kid Fury's for his repsonse to Kat Scratching Post. However, her antics are not my problem. She is claiming to have gotten a book deal out of her scandolous sexcapades. Uh, what? Superhead did this like 5 years ago, Carmen Bryan tried and failed successfully, and I'm sure there are plenty other jezebels running around with your favorite rapper's jizz on her belly, but those broads know better (not really). Who cares who you slept with? The best part(s) of her story is that she LIED. But good to know there is a woman who will give any willing her loose parts for cab fare and $1200.

It's no secret that out of all of this, ultimately I'm trying to get publishing as soon as I finish my book. Blogging is an added "equity" to my writing. It challenges me to write more on different topics as to one topic which would be the subject of the book. Not to mention it helps me introduce myself to more viewers. I made a comment on twitter the other day that said, "I wish writer type bloggers got the attention the gossip-type bloggers recieved". No shade to gossip bloggers, lawd knows I need them like water. There are so many bloggers who write about dope shit and gets no accolades. It takes my "New Post" tweet to be RT'd 37 times before I get ONE click. It's not that my work isnt quality, it's because most people would probably rather compare their lives to a celebrity, than a working class human being. It's cool though, I know that my words will reach someone and actually mean something.

This post may not make sense, or even mean anything to y'all, but hell, I had some things to say. But, my question is: who is this "literary agent" that lurks on twitter, offering such book deals? Send them my way. Thanks.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Beautiful Tragedy: Confinement

"It had to be the worst day of my life. It was her second day of the two day life span the hospice nurse gave her. She was in a state of comatose and most importantly, I knew she was extremely uncomfortable in the current situation. Even though she could no longer speak, she would only communicate with me and I knew she heard everything that went on.

Everyone was literally at each others throat. A huge fight broke out outside of grandmother's house the night before. It was in-laws against blood. Grandmother no longer wanted daddy's and his family at her house to visit mom. What grandmother denied was how much her in-laws loved her. It was an unconditional love that she could not give to her own daughter. She had a sharp bitterness for everyone that gave her the kind of love she longed for. Dad was just the opposite, but one in the same. He justified the damage he caused her with his unconditional love. Everyone from dad to my brother and sister, and her mom and sisters where carrying so much guilt for either abusing or abandoning her at her worst times, they all were fighting to be there til her last breath. But, they were going about it selfishly.

I was playing the fence. I wanted to give everyone the chance to pay their respects I wanted peace for mom. I wanted to give her all she desired until it was over. But, at the moment it was so hard, I couldn't do anything. It was like everyone turned against me. All of my aunts, my dad, my brother and sister, were all pointing the finger at me for everything. I couldn't understand if I was the only one being selfless, what am i doing wrong?

For twelve hours, me and mom sat in the living room at her mothers house, being watched like we were in prison. I didnt eat, brush my teeth, drink anything the whole day. We just sat there, looking at each other, me praying, gazing into her eyes as she would gaze into mine. I made my decision, I whispered in her ear, "I have a surpirse for you today. If you can just hold on a little longer, I'm going to take you on a trip." She looked at me and gave me the deepest sigh of relief.

The ambulance ride was tough. I was afraid that it was too much for her already fragile body. We were only blocks away from our destination. I can still see the fright in her eyes and face. I talked to her and ran my fingers through her hair, saying "We're almost there!! You're doing so good!!" I could tell she was fighting so hard to stay with me."

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Lady Complex Radio Debut

This past Sunday, I finally got my shit together and debuted Lady Complex Radio! I dedicated the segment to all female EVERYTHING! Any business savvy woman who has been driving themselves to accomplish a goal in whatever it is they are doing were welcome to call in and promote their brand. I did this specifically to support women like me who have trouble networking with other women due to fear of competition. I don't compete with anyone, so helping someone even in the same genre as me means nothing and is helping me sow good seeds.

However, Blog Talk Radio had plans to not let me be great, but I overcame. My switchboard had disappeared on my computer screen and it took for what seemed the whole hour segment to reappear. As much as I wanted to give up, I had some great Twitter friends who helped me through!! At one point, I said, "just let me ger one person on the line." And that's all I got! I spoke with Dawn from http://www.divadishtalk.com/ and she was awesome! I tweet with her a lot through the week, but hearing her voice and her speak on why she started blogging was inspirational. Dawn said she started with an internship to a popular gossip blog and was inspired to have her own after DJ AM's mother made the statement, "Find something you love to do and do it for free and then people will start paying you for it." That gave me chills!!

Unfortunately, I had more callers on hold to speak to and couldnt due to the technical difficulties that I will tend to with BTR. I had the ladies send me all their information to post. If you havent connected with any of these women, please do...they are all awesome in my book!!

http://www.divadishtalk.com/, ran by Dawn of Memphis, TN, is a celebrity entertainment blog and has recently featured an interview with Antonia (Toya) Carter of BET's hit reality series "Tiny & Toya". Follow @DivaDishTalk on twitter.

http://www.butilovememore.com/, an inspirational life changing blog written by author,  motivational speaker and Canadian native Nova Browning Rutherford, out of Los Angeles. Features life experiences and motivational stories. @butilovememore

http://www.embraceurlife.blogspot.com/, on www.BlogTalkRadio.com/embraceliferadio, is a weekly radio show (Wednesday's @ 8p) that impacts and empowers peers ages 19-34 hosted by Tiffani Walker out of Chicago, IL.  follow @embraceurlife on twitter.

Her Shoe Fetish, a Tupelo, MS shoe store female owned and operated , check http://www.her-fetish.com/.  follow @mzhershoefetish

Here are a few women I follow on Twitter that I have high hopes for and their brand!

@queenrosa has a cookbook you can purchase on http://www.divadishes.com/ and also get free recipes to seduce the love in your life.
@minxhouston the first Medical Nail Technician, offering the hottest nail couture to date, clientelle consists of Mya, Keri Hilson, Trina and LeToya Luckett.
@empressmag, an internet magazine that caters to the lifestyle of the inner empresses. I also contribute monthly to http://www.empressmag.com/.
@orig_glamazon write under the blog http://www.theglamchronicles.blogspot.com/, a highly intelligent woman who talks about everything from life, love and politics.
@caresslepore is a fashion blogger out of the ATL, that bases her themes on Disney movies and fashion icons. http://www.dafashionist.onsugar.com/
@luxurymoondust, whom I have come to love on twitter, a very candid and witty blogger on http://www.fcktheword.blogspot.com/
@whymelawd an awesome writer who's office stories are hilarious, yet true. http://www.happyaboutthis.com/
@marikai, who serves as VP to the Straight Girls for Amber Rose movement, http://www.black-american-princess-interrupted.blogspot.com/.

If you are not already, please follow these lovely ladies!! There is a little something out there for all of us!!  And despite the issues with BTR on Sunday, I can not wait for the next broadcast!!

You are all officially Ladies of Complex!!!

-If I missed your link, please post it in the comment section or send me an email so you can get a free feature on my next BTR show!!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

You'll Get More Bee's With Honey

I really wanted title this "You'll Get More Twat With the Truth", but that's just the cunt in me. Anyheaux, if we gave every man who lied to us our cookies, we'd have more miles on us than an '84 Cutlass Supreme.  We (women and some men) have experienced our share of being lied to just for the sole purpose of getting our pannies. My point here is, we probably would be more giving if the men were a little bit more honest.
What is so hard about about speaking honestly to someone, in this case, who is not officially "yours"? Say you are just casual or maybe even dating, but the thought of sex is definitely in the air. You are not obligated to this person, so why lie?  Most of my experience is that men believe that if you don't ask him a specific question or a question at all, if they don't tell you, they are not lying. Peep the scenario:

Me: You have a girlfriend?
He: No.
Me: Are you dating anyone.
He: You.

This would seem to be a straight to the point convo, right? Uh uh. He failed to say that he was trying things out with a past "light switch" ex. Or that he was engaged, or married, or dating someone other than you. But since you didnt ask the specific "Are you married?" or another detailed question, he didn't answer accordingly. "They are only answering the questions you asked." BSTFUH. What part of the game is that? An honest man is a rare commodity, and many women may find your candid truth attractive. And ladies, you really wanna know how he feels? Truth Serum is a biatch.

In my opinion, we would be more willing to have sex with someone who we had trust in, despite a situation. Being lied to is being mislead. If you lied to me about where you ate dinner, who's to say you haven't lied to me about your who you slanging "d" to on a regular? Give me the opportunity to decide if I want to further the relationship after you told me the truth. After all, it is you in the wrong.  

By the way, there is no vice-versa on this subject for men, y'all are willing to beat our back in even when we are lying to you.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Riding Shot Gun in the Pussy Wagon

If you're not in the Lady GaGa Stan Van, bi***, you lost. Gaga and Honey Bey (yass) premiered the 10 minute long "Telephone" vid last nite on E. I be damned. These hoes are HOT. Just check the pix and commentary from Your Girlfriend's Girlfriend and her friends...
The Coke can rollers, leather stud jacket and the bikini under? I'm getting "Who's That Girl" fever.
*punches the air like Lady GaGa*
Honey Bey (yass) was giving me straight H-Town Raunch. How do I breeve?
GaGa and Honey Bey makes me wanna be a better, badder Biatch.
I wanna ride in the Pussy Wagon. Like, I wanna ride bitch. In the middle of GaGa and Honey Bey.
Do you see what these Biatches brang to the table?

Twitter + Celebs = Whoring for (any) Publicity

Twitter is the Boulevard of all things whore(ish, ing, ed). So it's no suprise when celebs hand the media the hammer bash their lives. I could careless of what regla folks post on Twitter, but I do have a problem with celebs posting, in this case, break-ups.

So here we have an accomplished singer and her baby-daddy/ failed rapper/one hit (was it even a hit?) wonder. The hoods mainstream media source, MTO (ugh), is reporting a break-up between the two, due to...wait for it...INFIDELITY! I could see if CNN or even MTV was reporting the split, but no. I guess any publicity is good publicity. After the reports hit the net, the singer took to her Twitter to thank her fans for their love and support and shamelessy, but indirectly confirmed the break-up. Now, she isn't the only celebrity to take over twats' timelines to rant about relationships, so stans- GET BACK. Lawd knows, I try to stray away from celeb gossip, so I am going to address this generally, of course, all in IMO.

When you are in the process of a break up, it's a lot harder to discuss candidly because your emotions are in rare form. Why call someone or your current "happenings" out if you don't know where you will stand in the next day or so? Then you may have to retract some statements you made, ie "We worked it all out and we will be together forever!" What part of the game is that? When celebs do things like this, the first thing that runs through my mind is "Ummm, doesnt she/he have someone else to talk to about this? Like, off Twitter?" Regla folk does it too. Y'all know your friend who changes their Facebook relationship status every hour on the hour. Frankly, I am too embarrassed to address publically (my friends) a possible break up, until after. I still need time to decide if I'm gonna get back with the fool or not. This saves my pretty little face more shame.

Now, post-break up bashing, I vote yes. After you have confirmed a definite break up, go for it. Lawd knows I'm guilty on all charges. Sure it's a form a bitter revenge, but it's also fun, too. Just make sure you do it tactfully (if that's possible) and address the person indirectly. If they're smart enough, they'll figure it out anyway.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Conquering All Fears

As I conquer the smaller goals I have placed, I think of the future I could have. In order to be more successful, I have to conquer my fears as well. As we all know, one of my huge fears, or as I like to call it, my anchor, is being social. With the help of my dear friend Terry Thierry, I am on a "Social Mission". In order to find my place in the blogosphere, I must find my place in an off-the-internet type social setting. Yes, Lady Complex will be live and in the flesh.

For those who know me personally, I am far from shy and knowing me is loving me. I've been told there is no "grey area", nor is their a "hate area". Sounds so beautiful, but that's when the anchor holds me down. I am not initially personable, to anyone. I am approachable, but not the approaching one. I believe I come off controlling and dominating due to my strong personality and some people dont take well to that type of approach. In a normal social setting, if no one initiates a conversation with me, we'll be sitting there silent. I am cordial and acknowledge all who is around me, but that's my limit. For so long, I just summed it all up to some people have it (personality) and some people don't. But that's not all true. I have it, I just don't want to use it. Or let's now say, I didn't want to use it- in the past.

What does this mean? Me, blooming into a social butterfly, stepping out on life and on faith, and letting my guard down. I am excited, I mean, I want to meet new people. And yes, I am ready to meet new people. I've been living in Houston for 4 years now, I should've meet more people than I have. I no longer want to be skeptical of people and possible motives, cause frankly, I don't want anyone to be skeptical of me. I just wanna live and be LIVE! For what was holding me down for so long, hopefully will be no more.

When I began the site, I set small goals so I dont aim for much to only fail, successfully. So far, so wonderful. Which is why I take so much pride into my work. I only want to write about things that are true to me and what I believe. Although some may not agree, but I wanted to create a space for those who can agree to disagree. As for those who will call their followers fans, I'd rather treat mine with more respect to call them "supporters". Is there a difference? To me, yes. But, dont ask me to explain, it only makes sense to me. *wink*

Just when I think I can't take anymore and I feel the need for a spontaneous vacay from civilization, I recieve an email, text or tweet from one of my supporters who tell me how much they appreciate my writing. Then some mornings, I'll recieve an email from a website/ blog offering me a guest entry on their site. It's a complete accomplishment to feel needed in what some may call life. If I want sh** done the way I want it done, I need to get to talking. I can imagine the limitless opportunities I can recieve if I just open up.

Let me honor my calling by conquering this fear and retract my anchor.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Dating the Married: What You Would've Heard on BTR

Unfortunately, BTR shitted on my life had some technical difficulties with my debut show of Lady Complex Radio and I had to continue on TinyChat, which resulted in another dump on my life more technical difficulties, I ultimately had to take my concept here to MyLadyComplex.com. I will have my sh** together next Sunday, so you do the same. There was many people I had wished to get on the show, with many different views onthis specific topic. Thanks so much for the support guys.

If you check the stats above, you can see that there was a small percentage that said "yes" they would date someone who was married, and a smaller percentage that said they would depending on where ther marriage stands. Which, technically, is a YES. Believe it or not, there are women and men (yes, men) who exclusively only date the married. It's a harsh reality to the many spouses who live faithfully and committed to God and their spouses, while their significant others sh** on their vows. All in all, it's aldultery and it is a sin. But on who's account? The one who is married? Should the mistress (man or woman) be accountable? Or both?

However, to judge people on how they chose to live is stupid. Judge the sin and not the sinner. The choice of a lifestyle, per-say, is that individuals. Some tend to draw an invisible or erasable line on what is defined as a sin more-so to fit into our personal lives. For instance, calling someone a "homewrecker", while you're in a hotel engaging in premarital sex. It's a sin, too, boo. Granted that it seems like I am siding with the adulterous whores, I'm merely speaking on right and wrong on what's right-er and wrong-er ((c)Brooklyn's Finest).

I will never say that dating someone who is married isn't wrong, however I can't blame someone for being in love. I am not talking about jump-offs or just sleeping around, I am talking about serious relationships and falling in love with those who are married. You may not believe, but there is a difference. I, too, have been involved in said relationship. I didn't prey upon him or have a hidden agenda to try to end what he had at home. From what I know, the home was foreclosed long before me- so there goes my homewrecking status. I went in knowing before it began what I was dealing with and what could've come out of it. I have no regrets, for I have found an awesome man and friend through it all. As for that bad b**** Karma, I aint worried. If my spouse or boyfriend were to cheat, its not my bad Karma coming to ruin my life, it's his lying, whoring, and greedy ass.

I am definitely not ashamed of anything I have done in my life. There is no need to hide the mistakes or the risks I have taken to be in love. I know I'll probably recieve some dirty backlash, and some of you may not like me after this, I still wish you well. Love me or leave me alone. Just leave your comments you woulda left on the show. Be careful who you judge, you may end up in the same position.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Divine Confirmations

Throughout my entire life, I always felt like I had some sort of spritual connection to the after life. I am not clear why and how I actually feel when it hits me, but it's almost like a breath of fresh air when I do connect.  My dreams are filled with my loved ones who have passed, where they are always healthy, but for some reason they never speak. Almost as they are just looking out for me, guiding me on a path.

It first started the day after my grandfather passed. You know those dreams where they are like reality? Where I fell asleep, is where I woke up that he was walking through the door. He passed me a yellow post-it note that said "I'm sorry." Once I read it, I woke up trying to tell my family he was alive. But I quickly realized I was just dreaming. Since then, I have always felt like he was watching over me, but never near me.  Two days after I moved to Charlotte, NC, I crawled into bed, laid on my stomach and pulled the cover over half of my face. I heard footsteps coming closer towards me and an overwhelming cold wind came over me, whatever it was, it wouldn't let me turn around. As it came over me, I felt a sense of peace, like whoever this was, was only making sure I was okay. As the cold air went away, so did the footsteps. I called my mom to share my experience. I told her that for some reason I felt like it was grandpa. She reminded me it could be, I was his favorite that and that he probably didn't want to scare me. Funny because during my mom's illness and closer to her passing, she always said her father was watching her. He would never say anything, he was just standing there, on her left side. When she passed, her head was tilted to the left, where a picture of her dad had been for 8 years, looking at him. After that day, I never seen my grandpa or felt him near me. It's been her. I see her in my dreams all the time. Here and there, I'll find a card, or a picture or an item of sentiment that reminds me of her.

This past Saturday, I was driving home when Boyz II Men "Mama" came on the radio. I proceeded to dial her cell number. When I looked at my phone and it read "Mom Cell", I immediately hung up. Clearly, I had an out-of-body and mind experience. I couldn't contain myself. I cried all night. I begged for her to visit me in my dreams. She never came. Until this morning at work. My coworker was cleaning out an old desk and brought us a stack of folders and paperwork to go through and make sure it was nothing important. As we skimmed through the documents, I found this:

This is what I call a divine confirmation.

She faxed this to me on 12/13/2005. How amazing?

She answered.

Complex Back Track: Security

I think I am going to take my time to dedicate this post to all the women in the world. This topic is soley a part of our daily lives single, married, divorced, separated, lesbian or whatever. Golddigging vs Security.

Well, in my world. I like to brandish my type as looking for security. I have my own job, my own place, car, etc etc. I am 25 and single with no kids. Thats pretty damn good. I clear a sizeable and comfortable income along with a sturdy savings to care for myself and I live within my own means. So what's wrong with looking for a man to help stabilize my life? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Some like to think its Golddigging. That word make my ears hurt everytime I hear it. Especially when its referring to a woman who already had her own. I mean, why would I want a man that can only do what I can do or maybe even less? Sure two incomes or better than one, but these days ego and pride becomes a bigger "breakup" factor than anything now. I am ol' skool and believe that a man is the breadwinner in a relationship/ marriage. Be it he makes thousands more or just a couple hundred. Thats how its suppose to be in my mind. Thats how I was raised.

Now, I do believe that there are Golddiggers out there. WOOOWEE. Yes there is. These women look thirsty. Not just with their fashions, but with their confidence levels. They portray a lifestyle that they do not live. They look for men, only ballers tickle their fancy. They honestly dont care about having any kind of relationship with a man, they just wanna spend money or shit some even only wanna be seen. Most are looking for the athletes and music artists. No more dopedealers. That was so 10 years ago. They go to any and every extreme to attend all events and travel across the states to try and catch the eye of a paid man. Their only concern in life is what they are going to buy with the money they got and who's next in line.

Sure, we beautiful women deserve the man of our dreams. Some of us have them, some of us dont. Some of us feel like we are the women of their dreams. I have had my share of "ballers". Honestly some give, some dont. Some of the one's who give, give generously. The others, well, eh.

Dont get me wrong, I am for the fun and shopping and sharing with the girlfriends and dating and doing whatever the hell you want. But when its time to get serious, no more games. There are men out there, looking for the same exact qualities as you. He wants to share all of himself and his possessions with you. No questions asked. He is looking forward to that. He too wants a woman holding it down on her own and if push comes to shove and he hits rock bottom you can take care until he gets back up. Not someone that when all the money is gone, the clubbing and the being seen stops...will pack up and leave.

And what's so wrong with a man who can just pay his bills and help contribute to the ones you accumulate together? I mean, he's not asking you for anything that you weren't doing before him, right?

Your thoughts, please?