Monday, March 1, 2010

Divine Confirmations

Throughout my entire life, I always felt like I had some sort of spritual connection to the after life. I am not clear why and how I actually feel when it hits me, but it's almost like a breath of fresh air when I do connect.  My dreams are filled with my loved ones who have passed, where they are always healthy, but for some reason they never speak. Almost as they are just looking out for me, guiding me on a path.

It first started the day after my grandfather passed. You know those dreams where they are like reality? Where I fell asleep, is where I woke up that he was walking through the door. He passed me a yellow post-it note that said "I'm sorry." Once I read it, I woke up trying to tell my family he was alive. But I quickly realized I was just dreaming. Since then, I have always felt like he was watching over me, but never near me.  Two days after I moved to Charlotte, NC, I crawled into bed, laid on my stomach and pulled the cover over half of my face. I heard footsteps coming closer towards me and an overwhelming cold wind came over me, whatever it was, it wouldn't let me turn around. As it came over me, I felt a sense of peace, like whoever this was, was only making sure I was okay. As the cold air went away, so did the footsteps. I called my mom to share my experience. I told her that for some reason I felt like it was grandpa. She reminded me it could be, I was his favorite that and that he probably didn't want to scare me. Funny because during my mom's illness and closer to her passing, she always said her father was watching her. He would never say anything, he was just standing there, on her left side. When she passed, her head was tilted to the left, where a picture of her dad had been for 8 years, looking at him. After that day, I never seen my grandpa or felt him near me. It's been her. I see her in my dreams all the time. Here and there, I'll find a card, or a picture or an item of sentiment that reminds me of her.

This past Saturday, I was driving home when Boyz II Men "Mama" came on the radio. I proceeded to dial her cell number. When I looked at my phone and it read "Mom Cell", I immediately hung up. Clearly, I had an out-of-body and mind experience. I couldn't contain myself. I cried all night. I begged for her to visit me in my dreams. She never came. Until this morning at work. My coworker was cleaning out an old desk and brought us a stack of folders and paperwork to go through and make sure it was nothing important. As we skimmed through the documents, I found this:

This is what I call a divine confirmation.

She faxed this to me on 12/13/2005. How amazing?

She answered.


Rita said...

Speechless. This post is truly amazing.

I'll never telllllll... said...

Loved this! That would scare me to have a connection like that but I guess god knows what we can take or not take. God bless you ashley! Love your work!