Tuesday, May 25, 2010


"The prettiest people do the ugliest things...for the right price or the right person, I should say."

However, all money aint good money and everybody is not good for you. (All people with money aint good for you neither.) People will tend to lose themselves living in facade. But, if this is you, that's all you know. No need to prove to anyone about the choices you make. If you don't know, you are the hardest person to prove yourself to. Conquer that. Better yet, find the beauty that's on the inside instead of focusing on the out, speaking for self and others. . Maybe it will be then you can stop portraying a "live it up" lifestyle and free yourself from those fakes that run in those circles. Once you figure out that those people aren't really your friends, but mere persons you have only met, possibly you'll gain a little more clarity. Until that's done, you're just an Oxymoron. Well, maybe just a moron.

Monday, May 24, 2010

What She Said: Complex Quote Du' Jour

"I stopped fucking around with the fuck around like, yesterday." -@vivalablackgirl

Friday, May 21, 2010

Selfish: Me, Me, Me

"I think I should start my life from scratch. Rebuild it again, forget the achievements and failure of the past." -@marikai

Truly, I'm making some extreme decisions in my life at this moment. Somethings I'd like to keep to myself, others I can share. What I can and will tell you is this: All decisions that I am making will be carefully thought through and boils down to ME and MY personal happiness. Between twitter, facebook (not really), personal convos and the blog, I think I give enough of myself for others to live on, so don't be upset if you don't get what you think you need out of me. No one else will or should give any opinion, unless asked (raise your hand), regarding my life. I'm taking this personal. You should not.

Hence the reason for me not using a phone right now. I can contact you if I need you, but I probably won't. But, if I should, and you fail to answer, cherish that moment. There will never be another like it. I have to start taking ME seriously as much as I take everyone and their bullshit ass problems. Just because someone is making changes in their personal life that does/ will not include you, or that they would rather not share their every pissing moment with you, does NOT make them crazy. Get over yourselves.

I may hurt feelings, but think of it this way- I'm sure the feeling was mutual somewhere down the line. I've been such a giving and caring person my life, too bad I never tended to myself. Oh well, nows a better time than never.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Complex Conversations

A (text) conversation between me and my voice of reason, Honey Tee.

(me on your left and Honey Tee on the right, or so we like to think.;o))

Honey Tee: I saw ur article on Empress Mag! Bravo. Took a lot of courage to write that! #growth

Lady Complex: Thx so much 4 the support. They are giving me a HUGE platform with my writing.

HT: Bravo Ash! That’s awesome. Our lives are testimonies, meant to be shared, for someone else somewhere may be going thru the very same thing. I went to Louisiana this weekend. I turned my phone off for the entire weekend, just had my bible, and journal. Girl, talk about peaceful.

LC: Awwww. I said I was gonna do that for atleast and hour a day. Just me, the lord and my pen and paper. I love sharing stories. It’s all truth which makes it perfect.

HT: Please try it! We get too attached to these devices. God came to Elijah in a whisper. 1 Kings 19! We gotta turn down the volume on life, and sometimes society people to hear our whispers!

LC: Speak! I have to weed some ppl out of my life. Anyhow, I need to be open to receive His wisdom so I can prosper. Cant do it with all that noise n shit.

HT: Amen! Yassssss.

LC: I’m so ready. I feel like Im missing so many connections w/ all those distractions. He will not let me see them with my “shades” on. LOL

HT: Girl u bout to make me throw this phone out the window! No he wont, he told Peter to keep his eyes on him while he walk on water, but Peter looked to the left and to the right, and took his eyes off him. Gotta look straight, the distractions are distracting cause they don’t know the power and the connection u have with him!

LC: *church wave* I’m ready Honey Tee!!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Complex Quotes: My Garden is My Life

"Once I pull these weeds out of my garden, I will be able to see the seeds I've sown in full bloom."
- Lady Complex

During the past week, my emotions have been tested through and through. Though dealing with so much, it is great to know who and what I have behind me. I'll introduce you to these people and things and share some "revelations", if you will.

Since I am trying to get extremely focused on finishing my book, I have some positivity to search for- inside of myself. Hope you enjoy.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Walk Like a Model

Those that know me, know that I live my life in a great pair of heels. My mom told me that's how I came out her womb, but she didn't know where I got that from. I can pretty much do anything in heels. Travel (driving or scatting thru an airport), tip thru the local grocery store, spin on a pole, and even change a tire. Okay, Okay, I lie, but you get it. Truth be told, I own more heels than flats and tennis shoes put together. Not to mention, the tennis that I have were bought years ago and look brand new and I buy a new pair of heels every paycheck. With all that being said, I am often asked the how's and what's about wearing heels for 18 hours or more a day. So, if you are looking for tips, here goes. **This is MY personal process, it may not work for you.** I wont number them, cause there is no particular order. I been doing this too long to even remember an "order". ;o)

You must treat your feet like queens. This means atleast 1 pedicure a month and nightly soaks with feet rubs done by you or some lucky person. Keep some Epsom Salt near and purchase a pair of YogaToes and Palmer's Soothing Leg Lotion this will keep your circulation through the night. Get you some good gel insoles. This will save your feet from hating you while you get ratchet at the local sweat box (club). Don't buckle that strap too tight, you'll wanna cut you feet off by the ankle 30 minutes in. You should always be aware of what shoes you are wearing. Some shoes are meant to be "Bitch, sit your ass right here and be cute" shoes. Please don't think you are Naomi and sashe' like nobody's business. Remember that when you try shoes on, you can NOT tell if they will hurt you later on, and if they do, don't purchase. No matter how nasty they are. Everyone is not made to wear 4 inch heels. You gotta know when to stop. You could lose your life in a gravel parking lot or in a sidewalk crack. If you want to practice a "walk", practice on carpet. When I was ripping the runway in college, we were taught that if you can master a walk in 4 inch heels in carpet, you can walk anywhere. This is a good way to "break-in" your new shoes. And ladies, when your dogs are howling and cursing your every step, please cover that shit up as best as possible. Find your exit. You do know that people can tell when your feet are hurting, right?

Out of all of these tips, my best advice would be to always remember to give your feet rest every chance you get.. My best tip is to wait til you get to your destination to strap those stilettos on. Carry a pair of slipper socks in your clutch or car. This will be your rescue.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Social Bitterfly Experiment: Part One- Sour Apple Bitter Bitches

A month or so back, I introduced myself as the Social Bitterfly. The experiments are all about me being placed in real social settings (outside of the innanets) and how I may react with new people in spite of my deep bitterness. Although this is not the very first experiment, it is the first that I have decided to document for you guys.
On Tuesday, one of my favorite people in the world, Mystikal, was making his comeback performance at the House of Blues in Houston. On an attempt to tip thru the concert solo-dolo, I decided to have a date with a sweet friend of mine. Coincidentally, we ran into my cousin MiRayRay the Don and her friend Chasity and took a seat with them. The show was amazing. And if anyone is questioning if Mystikal still has it...YASSSS. He ain't miss a beat.
But here's the deal. After the show ended, my friend spoke to a friend of hers and had a mini conversation. After my friend began to walk away, I realized that I knew (termed used loosely) (on twitter and she knows He) the chick and preceded to speak to her, which is TOTALLY not me in anyway. The problem was after I said "Hi, (Insert name)", she hit me with a stale face. Still not saying "Hello" back to me, I began to remind her who I was. Then once she realized, she says "Oh, hey. You look so different." and then I was given the "Yea, I know who you are but I was playing dumb because I never emailed you back and I been ignoring you on twitter ever since" fake hug. Yea, trick. I caught that vibe.
See, a couple months ago, while I was trying to get this "branding" thing going, He suggested that maybe this person can give me a few tips. We chatted thru twitter, exchanged emails and that was that. She did get the email as she clearly told me, But never responded. Hell, its no problem. But you could've just answered me with a "I don't know what the hell you talbout." or "I don't have the time right now." Any answer would have been sufficient enough than straight up sending my ass to the innanet voice mail.
While Houston is on some ol' Hollywood shit, they only like you when you're hot and kick you when your down. If being flakey is what it takes to be in the "circle", then this ain't what the fuck I want. I don't sit in circles, I walk single file lines. I wont let this lil' sitchy get in my way of trying to be more social, but it does prove that I am gradually getting better.

Approaching Someone: Check,

Getting Shot Down: Check

Dignity: Check.

Yea, bitch, its still there. Gold Star for me and NATHAN for you, boo.

*Player Wave*

Friday, May 7, 2010

Happy Mother's Day

As Mother's Day approaches, I am finding myself becoming more bitter as the days go by. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for all of you have your mother's to share this special day with, and I have a few beautiful women that I wish to share this day with, but I do have a right to feel a certain way. It's MY emotions, right? Anyhow, I want to dedicate this post to my beautiful mother and the special women in my life that have helped me through many tough times and more to come. Since most of you know the background with my beautiful mother, I'll share some photos. If you don't know, click The Beautiful Tragedy page and read up! While I have so much to be happy for, there is no one on this earth that I would rather share it with than my mother, but unfortunately, I wouldn't have this experience if she were here. Thank you, mommy.

Don't take for granted her presence. There are people that only have memories. Please be appreciative of your mother everyday. She is the reason you are here.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Sex, Lies and Basketball Wives

While I may not be caught up on this oil spill business, I can tell you all the happenings on VH1’s Basketball Wives. Recently, Jennifer Williams (my absolute favorite), approached a known harlot, by the name of Saundra or “Plastic Surgery”, regarding her husband’s infidelities. Jen, being the classy and fabulous woman she is, bid that hoe a dry and monotone “Bitch, please” and sent her on her way. I have to master that.

I have a lot of respect for Jen for the fact that she is vocal about her marriage’s pitfalls. Being that so many women are embarrassed to speak on what’s going on in their household. My mom was completely abashed when it came to her and my father’s relationship, even when the entire family knew what was up. I even suffered from this in my past relationships. When my significant other cheated, I was way too embarrassed to even speak on it. Even with my closest friends,  who already knew, I wouldn’t talk about it. But what completely baffles me is that other women laugh at another woman being cheated on? I need to know what IS exactly so funny about a woman being cheated on and why does that make HER dumb? I’ll wait.

As I’ve stated before, I have been on all ends of cheating: the cheater, and the cheatee. I believe most women are mad at the fact that Jen interacted with the slut, but eh, as a woman I totally get it. Sure, it’s my man cheating on me, I should get him and I will get him, but I’m going to get her too. I’ve been approached and have approached plenty regarding to what’s “mine” and I will not say that I won’t do it again. I found it easier for me to deal with the woman first because 99.9% of the time, I wasn’t going to leave him. My fault? Sure. But don’t laugh at me for being in love with a man who loves to slang peen all over town. Clearly some women have not been in these shoes, and trust me, boo: This aint what you want. Or, they could be mad at the fact that Jen is discussing the status with the world. But riddle me this, since when did discussing your own personal business on whichever platform you chose become a position to be ridiculed? We don’t know what goes on inside of every relationship, even though Jen chooses to talk about hers, doesn’t mean that’s it. It’s my choice to say whatever I like about my personal business to whomever I like. You don’t like? Go that way

So, before you go judging or even making women, who get cheated on the ass of your jokes, remember that you too have been a fool (term used loosely). And if you haven’t been, pray that you never will be. Please know that all women who decide to stay with a cheater, doesn’t mean they are a fool.

As Jennifer told me via twitter, “It aint easy.