Conquering All Fears

As I conquer the smaller goals I have placed, I think of the future I could have. In order to be more successful, I have to conquer my fears as well. As we all know, one of my huge fears, or as I like to call it, my anchor, is being social. With the help of my dear friend Terry Thierry, I am on a "Social Mission". In order to find my place in the blogosphere, I must find my place in an off-the-internet type social setting. Yes, Lady Complex will be live and in the flesh.

For those who know me personally, I am far from shy and knowing me is loving me. I've been told there is no "grey area", nor is their a "hate area". Sounds so beautiful, but that's when the anchor holds me down. I am not initially personable, to anyone. I am approachable, but not the approaching one. I believe I come off controlling and dominating due to my strong personality and some people dont take well to that type of approach. In a normal social setting, if no one initiates a conversation with me, we'll be sitting there silent. I am cordial and acknowledge all who is around me, but that's my limit. For so long, I just summed it all up to some people have it (personality) and some people don't. But that's not all true. I have it, I just don't want to use it. Or let's now say, I didn't want to use it- in the past.

What does this mean? Me, blooming into a social butterfly, stepping out on life and on faith, and letting my guard down. I am excited, I mean, I want to meet new people. And yes, I am ready to meet new people. I've been living in Houston for 4 years now, I should've meet more people than I have. I no longer want to be skeptical of people and possible motives, cause frankly, I don't want anyone to be skeptical of me. I just wanna live and be LIVE! For what was holding me down for so long, hopefully will be no more.

When I began the site, I set small goals so I dont aim for much to only fail, successfully. So far, so wonderful. Which is why I take so much pride into my work. I only want to write about things that are true to me and what I believe. Although some may not agree, but I wanted to create a space for those who can agree to disagree. As for those who will call their followers fans, I'd rather treat mine with more respect to call them "supporters". Is there a difference? To me, yes. But, dont ask me to explain, it only makes sense to me. *wink*

Just when I think I can't take anymore and I feel the need for a spontaneous vacay from civilization, I recieve an email, text or tweet from one of my supporters who tell me how much they appreciate my writing. Then some mornings, I'll recieve an email from a website/ blog offering me a guest entry on their site. It's a complete accomplishment to feel needed in what some may call life. If I want sh** done the way I want it done, I need to get to talking. I can imagine the limitless opportunities I can recieve if I just open up.

Let me honor my calling by conquering this fear and retract my anchor.

Inside the Complex Inbox: Love me or, well Love me!

I made my first posts on Monday the 18th, 2 days on the job and I got already what I called “Hate Mail”. This email was from an old friend from college with whom I hadn’t “spoke” within a few months. I use the term “spoke” loosely, because we have chatted over FaceBook, but not over the phone or in person. Unfortunately, this queen assumed my post “How Many of Us Have Them” was referring to her. In so many emails, I expressed to her that the post clearly wasn’t referring to her and that even if it were, those are experiences that happened to ME in MY life and if someone were involved with me in a particular situation I have the right to speak on it without disclosing any names. Though, I’m not accountable for anyone’s feelings, I do this as therapy. While, I won’t be the one to put someone directly on blast (unless necessary), however I did consider posting all of the exchanged emails. Fortunately, the friendship was salvaged. #OnToTheNext.
After receiving those ever so emotional emails, here comes another. Instead, it’s from the Superwoman Lisa Rogers thanking me for the well-worded interview. That turned my day around. =) I expressed my gratitude for her allowing me to interview her.

I have succeeded twice and I have arrived! I am so grateful. POW!