Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Book: The Beautiful Tragedy

She was the most angelic, beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes upon. The type of beauty that flows from the inside and cascades out. Her flaws exposed to all who knew her. Yet and still poised and preserved. Such amazing qualities with character constructed by a lifetime of pain, betrayal and deceit. Countless admirable attributes. A soul so forgiving that she was made by the Almighty Highest to be a walking angel. To others, she may have been the least of these. But to me, she was my mother.

 As a child there were many things that I did not know about my mother. Things that I was not suppose to know. As I grew older, the whispers turned to shouts and the tales became truths. The secrets, the lies, the mistakes, the love, the loss, the deceptions, and the infidelities were beginning to be more existent. I found the beauty in her weaknesses. This was my mother who loved me unconditionally. Who made me everything I am and everything I am is what I will give. This is her story told through the pain of her daughter.

January 4th, 2008 was undoubtedly the most devastating day of life. We found out on that day, that the woman who had never been hospitalized and who never took an aspirin for a headache was dying from a rare form of cancer. The devil entered her body as Cholangiocarcinoma. She suffered antagonizing pain for six months with hope and faith rushing through her veins. Standing on a promise that she will overcome her suffering with a limitless admiration that “I will be okay.”

Losing her was the greatest gift. During her last days, she gave me and abundance of memories that will be cherished for a lifetime. Her lessons could never be taught by any teacher or at any Ivy League University. The permanent thoughts that have been instilled in my heart frequent my mind every day. My tragedy may be my triumph or it may be my failure. This journey may help me or it could hinder me. My path may lead me to a life of forgiveness or it can lead me to a life of resentment. However, it will lead me to a crossroads that could possibly surmount immeasurable contentment or hatred.

My candid emotions are my reality and your fallacy.

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