Too many times we hear one side of an adultrous love triangle (or square, depending how you get down) and the mistress/ manwhore is labeled as such and sometimes worse. Here at MyLadyComplex.com, we are in the No Judgement Zone: You don't judge me, I won't judge you. We like for you to be comfortable in whatever flaws (if you may call them that) you have. No one is perfect and Jesus hasn't apointed a Saint in years.
These questions will be featured on my first blog talk radio on March 6th, 2010, where we will discuss openly about different topics regarding this situation. I would like extend an invitation to the men and women who have been involved in said trysts. Whether you have been the wife or husband who has been cheated on or who has cheated, or the other man or woman or that you are completely against it. You may be totally discreet with your anonymity or if you're a bold one, let it out! If you would like to participate, you may email me at myladycomplex@yahoo.com or click the Kontactr button to your right. Please remember if you would like to join, you must be open to receive some criticism.
Please answer the questions honestly, for it is anonymous. Not to mention, if you lie, I will be emailed. iKid, iKid. But really, no one likes a whore or a liar. Take that back, everyone LOVES a whore. The polls will be closed within a week. ;o)
**Disclaimer: The views express in this blog were written and posted by Lady Complex and does not reflect the views of readers.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
No Hope for Hip Hop? A Consumers Opinion
I don’t particularly care to write about hip hop in general, only for the fact that I don’t particularly care for it anymore these days. I did write this order for an independent magazine, and unfortunately the email I was “sent” never reached my inbox. –Blank stare- But it’s all good. *Cues UGKs “Keep on Pushin’”*
I bring on this question to express my own opinion. IMO= my truth. However, I am biased when it comes to this subject. I am known to be a harsh critic for today’s music, some would ask, “Who is she to give her opinion?” My answer to that is I am the consumer who purchases your work, which purchases all your bling, cars, bottle service, weave and lace front wigs. When I dish it out, no one’s excluded. Please don’t ignore me.
I'm from Louisiana, where the raunchiest of the raunchiest music comes from. I grew up on Magnolia Shorty, the Original Cash Money, Mystical, No Limit, and X-MOB. I have been hearing about money, cars, clothes, and hoes my whole life so what’s new? Well, nothing really, just a little bit more boldness coming from more male and female hip hop artists. This is particularly why I don’t listen too much of today’s artists. They are either talking about “raw dawgin’ a hoe”, “hittin’ a hoe”, or “being a 5 star bitch”. Don’t get me wrong, these tunes make for fun times in a club setting on a drunken night, but why would I want to purchase your album when I can barely understand your gibberish in my ride? Great singles but whack albums. I am all for talking major trash and having a great time with ridiculous dances and antics, I also need substance. Give me a little something to make me think and dream BIGGER. When my hangover is gone and I need to listen to knowledge, I have to revert back to Scarface circa 1999 “The Fix”. Now That’s What I Call Music. No woman needs to dream (in reality) for a man with a huge -err wallet, which has the fattest ass or the finest Louis Vuitton bag. The “independent” façade is cute, also not real. You’re really just pointing out how well you can spend your money while in the same breath asking for a man with more than you. Umm, if you can do all this and fry fish at the same time, whatchu need him for? Oh, you want more, which is when you start falling into the ever-so-susceptible “Gold Digger” category. You mad? You shouldn’t be. While the ladies are getting there booty shots and weave glued in, the men are raw dawgin’ their home girls. Why are we letting everyone know (on wax) that we are trying to contract a disease? Since when has that been okay? It is not healthy. All the duffle bag dollars can’t cure that shit. The artists shouldn’t take full blame, the record execs are responsible for half. Now That’s What I Call Not Music.
I admire those with the hustlers ambition, however that doesn't mean I admire their music. Like Nicki Minaj, chick is building her brand. It may not be "hers" persay, but she is making it her own. She has someone that believed in her and they make it work. Her flow is dope, but the rhymes are typical and basic. Recently, she claimed she was Bipolar and thats why her flow was the way it is (that explains a lot), but I can't help but wonder if this was self-diagnosed. -shrugs- It's not just her, it's also the one-hit-wonders with all these different dances. If they knew better, they could definitely make a career out of creating songs with silly Sambo-like dances. (I do them, too) Ask DJ Jubilee, he is the best that ever did it.
By no means am I getting all “Maxine Waters” on yall asses, just simply trying to be a good taxpayer and stimulate the drowning economy. We can call this a “subliminal message”, so name dropping is extremely unnecessary. You may say it doesn’t matter who I am, but it does. I am a prospective fan. My opinions should matter and so should everyone elses. Without the fans, you wouldn’t have anything. While being in the beginning stages of my writing, I am definitely open to criticism. I want the support of others, otherwise what would be the point of me writing? It’s like talking to a brick wall. So, instead of gaining respect from our materialistic possessions, let’s gain respect for having respect for your fans opinions. Let’s not talk about how raw we are when we can’t digest someone’s raw opinion.
I bring on this question to express my own opinion. IMO= my truth. However, I am biased when it comes to this subject. I am known to be a harsh critic for today’s music, some would ask, “Who is she to give her opinion?” My answer to that is I am the consumer who purchases your work, which purchases all your bling, cars, bottle service, weave and lace front wigs. When I dish it out, no one’s excluded. Please don’t ignore me.
I'm from Louisiana, where the raunchiest of the raunchiest music comes from. I grew up on Magnolia Shorty, the Original Cash Money, Mystical, No Limit, and X-MOB. I have been hearing about money, cars, clothes, and hoes my whole life so what’s new? Well, nothing really, just a little bit more boldness coming from more male and female hip hop artists. This is particularly why I don’t listen too much of today’s artists. They are either talking about “raw dawgin’ a hoe”, “hittin’ a hoe”, or “being a 5 star bitch”. Don’t get me wrong, these tunes make for fun times in a club setting on a drunken night, but why would I want to purchase your album when I can barely understand your gibberish in my ride? Great singles but whack albums. I am all for talking major trash and having a great time with ridiculous dances and antics, I also need substance. Give me a little something to make me think and dream BIGGER. When my hangover is gone and I need to listen to knowledge, I have to revert back to Scarface circa 1999 “The Fix”. Now That’s What I Call Music. No woman needs to dream (in reality) for a man with a huge -err wallet, which has the fattest ass or the finest Louis Vuitton bag. The “independent” façade is cute, also not real. You’re really just pointing out how well you can spend your money while in the same breath asking for a man with more than you. Umm, if you can do all this and fry fish at the same time, whatchu need him for? Oh, you want more, which is when you start falling into the ever-so-susceptible “Gold Digger” category. You mad? You shouldn’t be. While the ladies are getting there booty shots and weave glued in, the men are raw dawgin’ their home girls. Why are we letting everyone know (on wax) that we are trying to contract a disease? Since when has that been okay? It is not healthy. All the duffle bag dollars can’t cure that shit. The artists shouldn’t take full blame, the record execs are responsible for half. Now That’s What I Call Not Music.
I admire those with the hustlers ambition, however that doesn't mean I admire their music. Like Nicki Minaj, chick is building her brand. It may not be "hers" persay, but she is making it her own. She has someone that believed in her and they make it work. Her flow is dope, but the rhymes are typical and basic. Recently, she claimed she was Bipolar and thats why her flow was the way it is (that explains a lot), but I can't help but wonder if this was self-diagnosed. -shrugs- It's not just her, it's also the one-hit-wonders with all these different dances. If they knew better, they could definitely make a career out of creating songs with silly Sambo-like dances. (I do them, too) Ask DJ Jubilee, he is the best that ever did it.
By no means am I getting all “Maxine Waters” on yall asses, just simply trying to be a good taxpayer and stimulate the drowning economy. We can call this a “subliminal message”, so name dropping is extremely unnecessary. You may say it doesn’t matter who I am, but it does. I am a prospective fan. My opinions should matter and so should everyone elses. Without the fans, you wouldn’t have anything. While being in the beginning stages of my writing, I am definitely open to criticism. I want the support of others, otherwise what would be the point of me writing? It’s like talking to a brick wall. So, instead of gaining respect from our materialistic possessions, let’s gain respect for having respect for your fans opinions. Let’s not talk about how raw we are when we can’t digest someone’s raw opinion.
Friday, February 19, 2010
I'm Emotional, and I Can't Let Go
My emotions change by the hour. I'm either extremely happy, extremely sad, or ridiculously mad. Either way, my emotions are making me a stronger woman. Normally, showing emotions "humanize" people, but breaking that barrier is hard. To some, showing emotions show vulnerability. Your emotions can definitely get the best of you, no matter how hard you try you can't control them. Cry now or cry later. You're gonna cry. Your emotions are yours and only yours. Emotions are the one thing that no one can take away from you.
I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression along with borderline bipolar after I lost my mom makes me question my emotions at times. I don't know if I had these issues before her death, but it does make me wonder if I am only acting out on the absence of her? Like, would I be happy if she was here, or would I be the way that I am now? I think they are pretty logical questions but they serve as brainteasers because this is something I will never have the answers to.
I practice showing my emotions on a daily basis. I cry, I scream, laugh, frown, and even break shit (*whispers* that's my emotion for MAD). However I feel, I think you should know. When you find yourself at a crossroad with emotion, you should pick up a healthy habit to assist with dealing with them. Here's some suggestions.
-You're extremely happy? Get together with other happy people. Go shopping, go eat. Keep the mood going,
-You're sad? Call someone that has a positive outlook on situations. They can give you the "boost" you need.
-Mad? Breathe. Take a moment for yourself. Wanna talk to someone? Call someone with a good ear. These people will let you vent their ear off and never say a word. Wanna be alone? Hit the gym, take your frustrations out there or pick up a book.
You may find serenity in other forms as I do. Instead of retail therapy, I'm investing my time into something that's worth more to me and will hopefully reap monetary benefits. Yuup, I'm writing. I pour my heart into my pen so much to where my hand wants to fall off! When you cry so much like me, to where your contacts fall out, you've got a story to tell. I wouldn't care if no one read my stories here on my book, I'm gonna write. It may not change you, but its changing me. I have my emotions and thoughts to guide me.
People think they know you, but you don't even know you. You will never know you. We can change, not by choice but by nature. Human nature gave us what we know as emotions.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
LifeStyle 101
"When will women stop letting men dictate the way they chose to live?"
This is a question I ask myself everyday. The answer in general is probably never. Lifestyle, in my opinion, is however you chose to live you life. It could be if you want to see women, men, or both, have a group of friends that are tasteless, who you want to sleep with, classifying you as a heaux from how many you dated, if you are over weight or underweight, beautiful or ugly. Who is anyone to tell you who you are and you accept it? Some females have the nerve to get upset when a man approaches them with this. They even let this foolishness shift the way they feel. It's called confidence people. Love me or leave me alone.
There are things people question about the opposite sex that will never be answered to your liking. Despite what you've heard, all questions are not asked to be answered. When the answer is given, it's their truth. It doesn't have to be yours. Just accept and move on. Not every man will like you, find you attractive, or even agree with everything you have to say. What can you do but live? When I stopped questioning the why's and what's of what a man will do and won't do, I got a man. A damn good one at that. No man will do ever do everything you expect them to as a "man". We don't fall to everything a woman is said to do, why should they? I don't cook, but according to some men, as a "woman" I should. My truth is that doesn't make me less of a woman. I expect my man to take my car get washed, inspected and oiled, he doesn't though. That doesn't make me question his manhood.
Am I saying that majority of women/ men who continuously question the opposite sex may be the reason why they are single? Kind of. See, most women, who in previous relationships, who have been the victim of infidelity have the approach that once a cheater, always a cheater. Not necessarily. They pin the blame on all men, but forget that if they had been the cheater in a relationship, they wouldn't want the same title. I have cheated in my previous and current relationship. I wouldn't consider myself a serial cheater but, I would hate if my partner didn't trust me to say that I would do it again. Being in a relationship with someone who has a past or who is more experienced with the opposite is always questionable, however, people do change and routines change as well. You can change, but why can't he?
Although it may seem as if I am taking the men's side, I am not. I have merely been the guilty and victim of everything spoken about. I will be friends with whomever, I will date anyone I choose, and I will eat, sleep, and sh** on my own time. Maybe I am the only one left who believes in "All is fair in love and war."
This is a question I ask myself everyday. The answer in general is probably never. Lifestyle, in my opinion, is however you chose to live you life. It could be if you want to see women, men, or both, have a group of friends that are tasteless, who you want to sleep with, classifying you as a heaux from how many you dated, if you are over weight or underweight, beautiful or ugly. Who is anyone to tell you who you are and you accept it? Some females have the nerve to get upset when a man approaches them with this. They even let this foolishness shift the way they feel. It's called confidence people. Love me or leave me alone.
There are things people question about the opposite sex that will never be answered to your liking. Despite what you've heard, all questions are not asked to be answered. When the answer is given, it's their truth. It doesn't have to be yours. Just accept and move on. Not every man will like you, find you attractive, or even agree with everything you have to say. What can you do but live? When I stopped questioning the why's and what's of what a man will do and won't do, I got a man. A damn good one at that. No man will do ever do everything you expect them to as a "man". We don't fall to everything a woman is said to do, why should they? I don't cook, but according to some men, as a "woman" I should. My truth is that doesn't make me less of a woman. I expect my man to take my car get washed, inspected and oiled, he doesn't though. That doesn't make me question his manhood.
Am I saying that majority of women/ men who continuously question the opposite sex may be the reason why they are single? Kind of. See, most women, who in previous relationships, who have been the victim of infidelity have the approach that once a cheater, always a cheater. Not necessarily. They pin the blame on all men, but forget that if they had been the cheater in a relationship, they wouldn't want the same title. I have cheated in my previous and current relationship. I wouldn't consider myself a serial cheater but, I would hate if my partner didn't trust me to say that I would do it again. Being in a relationship with someone who has a past or who is more experienced with the opposite is always questionable, however, people do change and routines change as well. You can change, but why can't he?
Although it may seem as if I am taking the men's side, I am not. I have merely been the guilty and victim of everything spoken about. I will be friends with whomever, I will date anyone I choose, and I will eat, sleep, and sh** on my own time. Maybe I am the only one left who believes in "All is fair in love and war."
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Facts About Me
The other night, I decided to compile this list of facts about me. For those who know me personally, these are things you may already know, but for those who follow me on the social networking sites, they may make you -GASP-
Mind you, they are not in any particular order so... Enjoy!
Mind you, they are not in any particular order so... Enjoy!
- I manage money extremely well.
- I am obsessed with my split ends. Don't ever be surprised if you see me picking at them.
- I would leave my boyfriend to be girlfriend to Amber Rose and Nelly Furtado.
- I consider myself to be shallow when it comes to relationships. I go for the physical attraction first.
- But, not that shallow considering my new love is in a wheelchair. =)
- I am in love now, more than ever. This goes for everything and everyone who is positive in my life.
- I am obsessed with "purging" worthless people and things out of my life. Don't be next.
- On Christmas day in 2005, I bust a house window with my bare fist.
- Playing in my hair and rubbing my feet are the quickest ways to get my pannies.
- My childhood dream was to become a Journalist.
- I chose principle over money. Anyday.
- I change clothes atleast 3xs before I actually leave my house to go anywhere.
- The first time I ever cheated, was to only see what the reaction would be.
- I'm not jealous, just over-protective.
- When I love, I love hard and I'll cut you if you hurt me.
- When I was 13, I placed 3rd in state over-all in gymnastics and 1st in state for uneven bars.
- I smell almost everything.
- I make up dances to songs in my head, but when I get home to try them out, it doesn't look so great.
- I once ran my Jeep into a house and left.
- I modeled for Nicole Miller gowns in college. This was actual runway sh**.
- I don't have much rhythm. Which is why #14 doesn't work well.
- While drunk one night, I pissed and vomitted while on all fours on the curb in a parking lot and not a drop of nothing got on my silk dress or Louboutins. Skills.
- Reciprocating is the name of my game. On all ends.
- When I commit heauxshit, it's normally with my significant other.
- I love when sex becomes an exploration of each others bodies.
- I hate walking barefoot, even at home.
- I know about each and every one of my physical flaws.
- I love bleach baths.
- 36C-32-42. That is all.
- I shave my mustache off, like every 2 weeks.
- I have a mohawk. Amen.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Lemme Fix My Hurrrrrr...
I may have tipped a few tea cups over when I mentioned "hair" in my last post, but probably not more than Toure has pissed off his interracial son by washing his hair every-damn-day. Who does thats sh**? Well, my mom did, but she had that wash-n-go hurr. I am sure he doesn't though. iKid, iKid.
Anywho, when I mention hair when referring to skin tone earlier, it may have come as a shock to some. I appreciate everyone's opinion, even those who don't agree, but I have been classed by my texture of hair. As did many women (and men) mostly in the south. Do we not remember the tale of the "Comb Test"? I have been hit with the ever-so ignant "How you black, but you got white people hair?" Girl, what? What part of the game is that? It's a known fact (in my world) that people will try to class you by the texture of your hair. If you are light bright with straight, soft hair then you must be mixed. If you're dark with soft hair, you must be mixed- Somewhere down the line.
Some also feel that if you have a certain texture of hair, you do not need weave or a perm and vice versa. False. I get perms twice a year, it may not be often as others, but this kinky shit has taken many years to tame. They also think that I don't or shouldn't I have a bad hair day. WTF? I have just as many problems as you. "I would love to have your hair." Trust me, you wouldn't. You can't get your hair done in the summer because you sweat way to much, you can't in the spring because it rains too much and humidity is like cryptonite, fall is windy and you can never "hold" a style, and winter, well that's just one season you may be able to get a roller set and it may last for like a week. Forget having a frizz free night at the local sweat box some call the club. Better tote a scrunchi 'round yo' wrist. Doesn't that sound familiar?
My hair's demise may have been in 1992 when I was digging thru my grandmother's closet and found a "Party Perm". Chile, I had every perm rod in place. (That box of perm had to be like 12 years old) By the time they got those rollers out of my head, Iooked like Fraggle Rock. My momo took her time trying to get that mess to "lie down". It took a good 6 years and many, many Just for Me's. Even at my age, I still need help trying to get this to lay it DOWN. You see me, you see a ponytail, a white girl funky bun, two platts (french braids), and maybe on a good day, a nice roller set or flat iron.
There are awesome hair care lines out there. My fave is KeraCare and the Henna and Placenta conditioners. No matter what texture your hair is, it's beautiful. Tame that sh**!!
Anywho, when I mention hair when referring to skin tone earlier, it may have come as a shock to some. I appreciate everyone's opinion, even those who don't agree, but I have been classed by my texture of hair. As did many women (and men) mostly in the south. Do we not remember the tale of the "Comb Test"? I have been hit with the ever-so ignant "How you black, but you got white people hair?" Girl, what? What part of the game is that? It's a known fact (in my world) that people will try to class you by the texture of your hair. If you are light bright with straight, soft hair then you must be mixed. If you're dark with soft hair, you must be mixed- Somewhere down the line.
Some also feel that if you have a certain texture of hair, you do not need weave or a perm and vice versa. False. I get perms twice a year, it may not be often as others, but this kinky shit has taken many years to tame. They also think that I don't or shouldn't I have a bad hair day. WTF? I have just as many problems as you. "I would love to have your hair." Trust me, you wouldn't. You can't get your hair done in the summer because you sweat way to much, you can't in the spring because it rains too much and humidity is like cryptonite, fall is windy and you can never "hold" a style, and winter, well that's just one season you may be able to get a roller set and it may last for like a week. Forget having a frizz free night at the local sweat box some call the club. Better tote a scrunchi 'round yo' wrist. Doesn't that sound familiar?
My hair's demise may have been in 1992 when I was digging thru my grandmother's closet and found a "Party Perm". Chile, I had every perm rod in place. (That box of perm had to be like 12 years old) By the time they got those rollers out of my head, Iooked like Fraggle Rock. My momo took her time trying to get that mess to "lie down". It took a good 6 years and many, many Just for Me's. Even at my age, I still need help trying to get this to lay it DOWN. You see me, you see a ponytail, a white girl funky bun, two platts (french braids), and maybe on a good day, a nice roller set or flat iron.
There are awesome hair care lines out there. My fave is KeraCare and the Henna and Placenta conditioners. No matter what texture your hair is, it's beautiful. Tame that sh**!!
Pot Callin' the Kettle Black, or High Yellow
Over the weekend, I woke up lurking thru the Devil's Playground (Twitter) and there was a plethora of complaining bee-ah-ches regarding Wale's new vid "Pretty Girls". The problem was, so they say, was that there was no dark skin women in the video. Only light skin/light bright/messicans. Mind you, these are the same people who use MTO as a source of world headline news.
Maybe I could understand the complaints...if I were still living on Massah's Plantation. And no, I am not taking sides because I am light skin. Truth is, we are so prejudiced against our own race, we could never win for nothing. It wasn't a problem when Trey Songz placed a dark skin with "natural hair" for his vid "Invented Sex", so why now? Oh, is it because "you" weren't featured? As for the "natural" hair, my hair is naturally wavy, so I guess because I have a better grade of hair than some, it's not natural? Cause from what I was told, there was a bit of everyone in it, even big ladies. On another note, why dont you see big ladies complain about not being featured in videos. And why are we even complaining about being in a damn music video? Is this what we have to look up to now?
My problem is that this dark vs. light skin shoulda been gone since Skool Daze. It's more ridiculous that we do not accept other skin tones in our race until we are questioned by another. "Why are you so dark and she's so light?" asked by the ignorant (insert race) male/ female. Our answer would be, if not worse, "Honey, we come in all different shades. That's what's so beautiful about being black." BSTFUH. You wanna say that now, but when it comes to being "chose",you have a major issue. "He only chose her cause she bright/dark." This particular subject brings me back to personal preference. Who someone chooses to want, in the least, is their choice. And most of the time when it comes to videos/movies, etc, it's the directors or producers choice.
Both sides go at each other. Anytime we get mad, we always include color of skin followed by a quick b****. Don't worry other races people do it to, except they'd rather call you out by your class "Coon-ass b****", "Trailer-Trash" or "Wet Back". Do you know how many times I have been called out "High Yellow, hoe"? I can't even count. But the moment I throw a "Dark/ Choclate/ Charcoal" in front of that, I am wrong. I don't like to be called out by my skin tone just as much as you. Instead of using someone's background or wealth as classification, we are separated by our skin tones. That's the same mess they did on the plantation, Massah. What are you going to say when the government decides to do it again? (History does repeat itself, ya know)
If our race can possess such beauty in variations of colors, why do we have to do this? We set ourselves up for failure everytime, which is why so many other races feel as though they can use this termanology the same.
Maybe I could understand the complaints...if I were still living on Massah's Plantation. And no, I am not taking sides because I am light skin. Truth is, we are so prejudiced against our own race, we could never win for nothing. It wasn't a problem when Trey Songz placed a dark skin with "natural hair" for his vid "Invented Sex", so why now? Oh, is it because "you" weren't featured? As for the "natural" hair, my hair is naturally wavy, so I guess because I have a better grade of hair than some, it's not natural? Cause from what I was told, there was a bit of everyone in it, even big ladies. On another note, why dont you see big ladies complain about not being featured in videos. And why are we even complaining about being in a damn music video? Is this what we have to look up to now?
My problem is that this dark vs. light skin shoulda been gone since Skool Daze. It's more ridiculous that we do not accept other skin tones in our race until we are questioned by another. "Why are you so dark and she's so light?" asked by the ignorant (insert race) male/ female. Our answer would be, if not worse, "Honey, we come in all different shades. That's what's so beautiful about being black." BSTFUH. You wanna say that now, but when it comes to being "chose",you have a major issue. "He only chose her cause she bright/dark." This particular subject brings me back to personal preference. Who someone chooses to want, in the least, is their choice. And most of the time when it comes to videos/movies, etc, it's the directors or producers choice.
Both sides go at each other. Anytime we get mad, we always include color of skin followed by a quick b****. Don't worry other races people do it to, except they'd rather call you out by your class "Coon-ass b****", "Trailer-Trash" or "Wet Back". Do you know how many times I have been called out "High Yellow, hoe"? I can't even count. But the moment I throw a "Dark/ Choclate/ Charcoal" in front of that, I am wrong. I don't like to be called out by my skin tone just as much as you. Instead of using someone's background or wealth as classification, we are separated by our skin tones. That's the same mess they did on the plantation, Massah. What are you going to say when the government decides to do it again? (History does repeat itself, ya know)
If our race can possess such beauty in variations of colors, why do we have to do this? We set ourselves up for failure everytime, which is why so many other races feel as though they can use this termanology the same.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Daddy's Home
Last night, I was greeted with the presence of my ever-so inebriated father at my doorstep. For what was suppose to be a pleasant one night visit, quickly turned into hell within the first 10 seconds of seeing him. Before we even spoke a word to each other, I seen him fall on a parked truck. It's never any different, however, this is not what I am unhappy about.
My father has been an alcoholic for what I can recall 35 years. Probably starting before he was of the legal age until this day. Ultimately, it got worse when my mother was sick and passed in 2008. Many of my family members use her death as a crutch, better yet excuse, to do the things they do. This sickens me because it's almost like they are blaming her for dying, which she had no control over. In the last year or so, my dad has been in and out of the hospital with pancreatitis, fluid on the lungs, and after suffering a stroke, he now has an aneurysm on his brain. But, he still insists on drinking until he can't see straight and abusing the people that genuinely care for him, forcing them to stay away from him.
What I am so unhappy about is that at 25 years old, I still have to endure his alcohol and abuse. I've never been so vocal about my family issues until now because I know there are more people who have gone through or is going through the same issues that could possibly benefit from me. If you follow me on twitter, you probably have seen me tweet about my father being a substance abuser my entire life. I feel bad that I have to separate myself from him because I am his daughter and I should be there, but I can't. Not if I want to succeed.
You would think that after losing someone so close and someone that you love dearly, that you would change for the sake of her life. Not everyone thinks the same. How many people do you have to lose physically and personally for you to even "want" to change?
I feel bad for the women that he meets. I truly do. He is a womanizer and I don't believe for one minute he will treat them any different than he treated my mom. What they get now is sh** compared to the hell she went through. He doesn't even respect his parents or children, what makes you think he will respect you? You are nothing more than a person to pin the blame on when his sh** falls apart every other day. I honestly wish it could be different because there is someone that wants to help him, but unfortunately he hasn't changed.
While I will never discredit my father for being an awesome dad and provider, he did raise us well, but as a man and a husband to my mother, he was the worst.
My father has been an alcoholic for what I can recall 35 years. Probably starting before he was of the legal age until this day. Ultimately, it got worse when my mother was sick and passed in 2008. Many of my family members use her death as a crutch, better yet excuse, to do the things they do. This sickens me because it's almost like they are blaming her for dying, which she had no control over. In the last year or so, my dad has been in and out of the hospital with pancreatitis, fluid on the lungs, and after suffering a stroke, he now has an aneurysm on his brain. But, he still insists on drinking until he can't see straight and abusing the people that genuinely care for him, forcing them to stay away from him.
What I am so unhappy about is that at 25 years old, I still have to endure his alcohol and abuse. I've never been so vocal about my family issues until now because I know there are more people who have gone through or is going through the same issues that could possibly benefit from me. If you follow me on twitter, you probably have seen me tweet about my father being a substance abuser my entire life. I feel bad that I have to separate myself from him because I am his daughter and I should be there, but I can't. Not if I want to succeed.
You would think that after losing someone so close and someone that you love dearly, that you would change for the sake of her life. Not everyone thinks the same. How many people do you have to lose physically and personally for you to even "want" to change?
I feel bad for the women that he meets. I truly do. He is a womanizer and I don't believe for one minute he will treat them any different than he treated my mom. What they get now is sh** compared to the hell she went through. He doesn't even respect his parents or children, what makes you think he will respect you? You are nothing more than a person to pin the blame on when his sh** falls apart every other day. I honestly wish it could be different because there is someone that wants to help him, but unfortunately he hasn't changed.
While I will never discredit my father for being an awesome dad and provider, he did raise us well, but as a man and a husband to my mother, he was the worst.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Suicide Watch
On to a more serious note. The fashion world has lost an icon, Alexander McQueen, was said to have committed suicide. The talk is that it was prompted by the death of his mother about a week ago. So many can ask "was it that bad?"Technically, yes, it could've been that bad. Being that I have been to the place he was before he decided to end it all, I will say that I will never question someone's decision over their own life.
Losing my mother was like losing myself. She meant everything to me. There is not a day that goes by without a thought about her. I go to be every night with hopes of her visiting me in my dreams. I would give up everything to have her here today. She means more than any amount of money could buy.
No matter what material possessions, friends, future, etc, that may "look" good, may not always be good. Having millions, celeb friends, and a bright future is nothing when it comes to self. Self is who you have to deal with when all of that is gone. When there is nothing left to buy with your millions, your friends are elsewhere, and your future is a mere figment of your imagination, all you have left is self judgement. During my deepest days of depression after losing her, the last thing on my mind was money, friends, family, materialistic items or my future. It was self. Jumping out of an alcohol induced binge, I then realized that I was worth more than losing. I had people that looked up to me and loved me. But some do not make it out of that stage. I thank God that I did and in the same prayer, I pray for those that didn't/ won't.
Many would say that they are too "selfish" to take their own life, well how selfish is it to questions someone elses decision of their own?
I am not condoning "suicide" by any means. I have been in that dark place and lost people who were close to me that never made the more selfless decision.
"When you are alone, it's a dark and cold place."
Losing my mother was like losing myself. She meant everything to me. There is not a day that goes by without a thought about her. I go to be every night with hopes of her visiting me in my dreams. I would give up everything to have her here today. She means more than any amount of money could buy.
No matter what material possessions, friends, future, etc, that may "look" good, may not always be good. Having millions, celeb friends, and a bright future is nothing when it comes to self. Self is who you have to deal with when all of that is gone. When there is nothing left to buy with your millions, your friends are elsewhere, and your future is a mere figment of your imagination, all you have left is self judgement. During my deepest days of depression after losing her, the last thing on my mind was money, friends, family, materialistic items or my future. It was self. Jumping out of an alcohol induced binge, I then realized that I was worth more than losing. I had people that looked up to me and loved me. But some do not make it out of that stage. I thank God that I did and in the same prayer, I pray for those that didn't/ won't.
Many would say that they are too "selfish" to take their own life, well how selfish is it to questions someone elses decision of their own?
I am not condoning "suicide" by any means. I have been in that dark place and lost people who were close to me that never made the more selfless decision.
"When you are alone, it's a dark and cold place."
John Mayer and the KKK C*ck
"I have a Benneton heart and a David Duke c*ck."
Well, I'll be damned. I love John's honesty on his preference of women. It's fine with me cause my Polly doesnt want a cracker.
Even though I have heard about this Playboy interview long ago (either that or I have deja vu), it hit the blogs again yesterday. He was also asked about having a "hood pass" and he referred to it as a "nigger pass". I am hearing more people being pissed about his choice of twat than him using the "n" word. I could care less about either. I love black men and only black men, sooooo...Who am I to judge someone on their dating preference. I have my own that some may not like, but that is for me. I won't say that I will never date outside my race, but as for now, I can't see it.
I use terms about my race and other races that some may deem as racist, soooooo....I think its ignorant for one race to be able to use "derrogatory" terms and not let the other. Do I get mad when I hear someone saying "That black b****"? No, cause 9/10, they heard me say "That (insert race) b****". When you go to a comedy show, the black comedian is making jokes about all races and no one is getting offended or the "chink" joke dont make it to the morning news for stirring controversy. But, the moment a white comedian makes a joke about black people, we wanna fight.
All of yall get a BSTFUH. Get off the damn plantation.
Well, I'll be damned. I love John's honesty on his preference of women. It's fine with me cause my Polly doesnt want a cracker.
Even though I have heard about this Playboy interview long ago (either that or I have deja vu), it hit the blogs again yesterday. He was also asked about having a "hood pass" and he referred to it as a "nigger pass". I am hearing more people being pissed about his choice of twat than him using the "n" word. I could care less about either. I love black men and only black men, sooooo...Who am I to judge someone on their dating preference. I have my own that some may not like, but that is for me. I won't say that I will never date outside my race, but as for now, I can't see it.
I use terms about my race and other races that some may deem as racist, soooooo....I think its ignorant for one race to be able to use "derrogatory" terms and not let the other. Do I get mad when I hear someone saying "That black b****"? No, cause 9/10, they heard me say "That (insert race) b****". When you go to a comedy show, the black comedian is making jokes about all races and no one is getting offended or the "chink" joke dont make it to the morning news for stirring controversy. But, the moment a white comedian makes a joke about black people, we wanna fight.
All of yall get a BSTFUH. Get off the damn plantation.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
True Life: I'm Rocking a Knock-Off
*Gasp* Or should we use the new term "Replica Couture"? In the fashion world, this is considered a "faux-pas". But, for those who do frequent those streets, you do what you can. Is it a huge crime? Don't think so. Some cant manage to purchase the authentic, so they opt for this. While others can and still opt for the knock-offs. Not all the time are they worth the cost. Most of the time, they are a trend for the season, unless you're purchasing a signature staple. However, if quality is what you're looking for and your check book permits then I say go! I am going to give a few pointers to those that choose (or have no choice) how to rock a knock-off:
Prepare for the dirty looks from the b****es that can tell.
Before you purchase that knock-off, please do your research. Make sure the style bag you want actually is made by that brand.
Keep it simple. The more extravagant the bag looks, the easier it is to spot that its a faux.
Inspect the quality (or lack there of) of your knock-off. (LV is brown, not green)
Take those silly paper tags off.
Act like your use to nice things. You don't need to parade that bag in peoples faces.
Don't walk around with whats suppose to be a $1000 bag while donning skinny jeans and a South Pole bubble jacket. Be realistic. No one is ever gonna believe you. That's the days you should leave that bag home.
Lose the tude. Don't make it easy for someone to point out your fake. Because, yes, you can tell.
Fake LV on your arm? Please, by pass the LV store quickly. The sales associates will walk right past you. Better yet, just shop online. =)
Don't try to salvage that bag. The strap or zipper breaks- just let it go. I mean, what did you really expect?
Be discreet about your purchases. Not everyone needs to know where you get these things from.
If and when someone asks you where did you get your bag from, please do us all a favor and say with a lip smack "Uhh, the (Louis Vuitton) Store." but please be mindful on the location of the stores, just in case they ask you which one.
And when you are finally ready to make that purchase of an authentic; please don't think you are their top client. They have clientele that spend what you make in a year in one sitting.
I wrote this post to make it a little more believable when you are sporting your arm pieces. Not to mention a note to not judge people on their material possessions. We all can't be fashion mavens, but you can try.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Complex Advice for Shaquille O'Neal
I hope your lawyer is ready.
Thanks,
Management
While I'm on a roll discussing the Brazen Beauties of the NBA and trying not to be consumed in the gossip gander, I might as well discuss the smartest of them all...Shaunie O'Neal.
Being the wife of one of the best in the league, Shaquille O'Neal, Shaunie has learned to play her position and ultimately win in the name of whorish love. She's been where many women have gone and I am sure never wanted to go back- unless were money involved. After being outted by SuperHead for having lackluster, sweat wrentching, ratchett sex, I never looked at him the same. Shaunie popped out atleast 5 kids for this man and he has obviously cheated on her throughout the marriage. A year or so ago, Shaq stirred headlines accusing his wife of infidelity and "stealing" his money. Ummm? Stealing? His money? No, b****, y'all are married and whether you'd like to know it or not, that sh** is hers too. Infidelity? Chile, boo. No sir, we have heard about your sexcapades (even though they were all horrible) around the world. Stop this madness.
Let's say Shaunie was cheating on him, he found out and clearly got jealous. He then ran to the press and then to a "lawyer",and submitted a petition to divorce. And what did he think that was going to do? Maybe a lot to him, hoping that Shaunie didn't have proof. Fortunately (at the time), they rekindled the romance and all was heaven. Well, not really. Emails surfaced in November of Shaq and Gilbert Arenas wife, Laura Govan steamy (GAG) relationship. Somewhere stated between "Hi" and "Hoesh**", Lonnie G (as Govan goes by) states that she and Shaunie were good friends. Shaunie had the ball in her court and is taking that ass to divorce court.
The Brothel Madame in my mind is screaming this was a set up. A very good one I may say. Let me explain my theory. Shaunie was sick of Shaq's gawd awful sex, popping out 16 lb babies every other year, and his bull corn. She didn't have her duck(etts) in a row when Shaq was busy spreading "vicious lies" about her stealing and cheating and filed for divorce. She needed a plan. A plan that required patience and tactic. Money grabbing tactics. Who more to ask for assistance than your bestie who is busy popping out babies for her NBA husband as well? Lonnie G. Shaunie and Lonnie G set Shaq up and get proof. Proof was in the emails.
I am simply giving my opinion. If this is true, I will stan for Shaunie even more. She will be my idol and should start a summer camp for all the drab ass whores tryna lock down a great divoce settlement. Elin Nordegrin will be her top pupil! Team Shaunie!!
Before you click the link to read the emails, I am warning you. It's worse than seeing Tiger Woods' " I'm gonna wear you out" text messages...http://blacksportsonline.com/home/index.php/2009/11/shaqs-pimp-focus-is-strong-sleeping-with-gilbert-arenas-fiance-we-got-emails/
All is fair in divorce and basketball. Or so they say.
Thanks,
Management
While I'm on a roll discussing the Brazen Beauties of the NBA and trying not to be consumed in the gossip gander, I might as well discuss the smartest of them all...Shaunie O'Neal.
Being the wife of one of the best in the league, Shaquille O'Neal, Shaunie has learned to play her position and ultimately win in the name of whorish love. She's been where many women have gone and I am sure never wanted to go back- unless were money involved. After being outted by SuperHead for having lackluster, sweat wrentching, ratchett sex, I never looked at him the same. Shaunie popped out atleast 5 kids for this man and he has obviously cheated on her throughout the marriage. A year or so ago, Shaq stirred headlines accusing his wife of infidelity and "stealing" his money. Ummm? Stealing? His money? No, b****, y'all are married and whether you'd like to know it or not, that sh** is hers too. Infidelity? Chile, boo. No sir, we have heard about your sexcapades (even though they were all horrible) around the world. Stop this madness.
Let's say Shaunie was cheating on him, he found out and clearly got jealous. He then ran to the press and then to a "lawyer",and submitted a petition to divorce. And what did he think that was going to do? Maybe a lot to him, hoping that Shaunie didn't have proof. Fortunately (at the time), they rekindled the romance and all was heaven. Well, not really. Emails surfaced in November of Shaq and Gilbert Arenas wife, Laura Govan steamy (GAG) relationship. Somewhere stated between "Hi" and "Hoesh**", Lonnie G (as Govan goes by) states that she and Shaunie were good friends. Shaunie had the ball in her court and is taking that ass to divorce court.
The Brothel Madame in my mind is screaming this was a set up. A very good one I may say. Let me explain my theory. Shaunie was sick of Shaq's gawd awful sex, popping out 16 lb babies every other year, and his bull corn. She didn't have her duck(etts) in a row when Shaq was busy spreading "vicious lies" about her stealing and cheating and filed for divorce. She needed a plan. A plan that required patience and tactic. Money grabbing tactics. Who more to ask for assistance than your bestie who is busy popping out babies for her NBA husband as well? Lonnie G. Shaunie and Lonnie G set Shaq up and get proof. Proof was in the emails.
I am simply giving my opinion. If this is true, I will stan for Shaunie even more. She will be my idol and should start a summer camp for all the drab ass whores tryna lock down a great divoce settlement. Elin Nordegrin will be her top pupil! Team Shaunie!!
Before you click the link to read the emails, I am warning you. It's worse than seeing Tiger Woods' " I'm gonna wear you out" text messages...http://blacksportsonline.com/home/index.php/2009/11/shaqs-pimp-focus-is-strong-sleeping-with-gilbert-arenas-fiance-we-got-emails/
All is fair in divorce and basketball. Or so they say.
Complex Advice for Dwight Howard:
Kick rocks.
Thanks,
Management.
I wasn't going to touch on this itchy-sitchy, even though it's kind of old news, it still bothers me. I dont have a child or have ever dealt with baby mama/daddy issues so I try not to speak on sh** I haven't been through. For those who haven't heard the story that Dwight Howard plans to sue his baby's mother, Royce Reed, over slander or some sort. He also had a court injunction, or I shall call it a muzzle over her mouth to not even speak his name. I don't know too much detail but hell, that's all I need.
Granted that I do understand that there are always two sides to each story, this sh** is out of hand. As a man, Dwight Howard needs to get his a** off his (gorgeous) shoulders and respect that woman as the mother of his child. Regardless of whatever she may be tweeting to her 200 followers, she gave birth to his son. If he is sooo worried about what someone says about him as a father, he should ask the 98% of the NBA on how they handle those problems. All in all, he is suing her for hundreds of thousands of dollars, which he knows she does not have. So what Dwight, your payback is to sue her for money she doesnt have so you can get out of paying her child support? B****, please. If you want to ignore her as a woman, you can do so, but not the mother of your son, to whom you should be setting an example for.
I am sure your name gets slandered on and off the court by your opponents or anyone else that has ill-will towards you, Dwight, so why not sue them or put a muzzle over their mouths? I think you're scared. I mean, you still fine as hell, but you scared.
You can try to sue me, but I aint got sh**.
Thanks,
Management.
I wasn't going to touch on this itchy-sitchy, even though it's kind of old news, it still bothers me. I dont have a child or have ever dealt with baby mama/daddy issues so I try not to speak on sh** I haven't been through. For those who haven't heard the story that Dwight Howard plans to sue his baby's mother, Royce Reed, over slander or some sort. He also had a court injunction, or I shall call it a muzzle over her mouth to not even speak his name. I don't know too much detail but hell, that's all I need.
Granted that I do understand that there are always two sides to each story, this sh** is out of hand. As a man, Dwight Howard needs to get his a** off his (gorgeous) shoulders and respect that woman as the mother of his child. Regardless of whatever she may be tweeting to her 200 followers, she gave birth to his son. If he is sooo worried about what someone says about him as a father, he should ask the 98% of the NBA on how they handle those problems. All in all, he is suing her for hundreds of thousands of dollars, which he knows she does not have. So what Dwight, your payback is to sue her for money she doesnt have so you can get out of paying her child support? B****, please. If you want to ignore her as a woman, you can do so, but not the mother of your son, to whom you should be setting an example for.
I am sure your name gets slandered on and off the court by your opponents or anyone else that has ill-will towards you, Dwight, so why not sue them or put a muzzle over their mouths? I think you're scared. I mean, you still fine as hell, but you scared.
You can try to sue me, but I aint got sh**.
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