Tuesday, November 23, 2010

So, I'm in my Feelings. For a Second.

Remember that prayer posted a couple weeks ago? Well, it  kinda struck a cord with me. There was so much I wanted to add to that, but time didn't permit. Don't think I am going to spare you my feelings. It was coming sooner or later.
Sure, I miss talking with certain people, but I appreciate my sanity even more. I grabbed my pride by the wig a couple of weeks ago and reached out to someone I was extremely close to. The fact that I had to hear by word of mouth that she was leaving the country hurt me. I couldn't imagine the thought of her leaving and us not even speaking a word. Needless to say I didn't expect the response I got, but once again, that was confirmation that things are over and time stops for no one. Everyone else is moving right along, perfectly without me. I've packed my bags of tears and I am moving along right with(out) them. So, now for me to be upset at anyone who didn't wish me congrats on my engagement doesn't hurt as much.
I think back quite often of the person I use to be and the "friends" I use to have to what everything is now. I think about how perfectly everyone fit into my life back then as to who fits perfectly right now. Then I drift off to who tries to fit and just doesn't quite get it. I am talking about those who believe that they bring anything, quality, value, lobe, loyalty, honesty, into my life. When in fact, they constantly take that shit away like a thief in the night. Those that say they are a friend, however you seem to only hear from them when they are seeking. Their personal agenda is so full of "party and bullshit" they make a hoe seem like a housewife. Thinking that me and He will play Millionaire Match-Maker or that they will end up in the VIP section of a club or concert on GP. Well, not so much I, We don't like you like that. And if you are MY friend, I dare you to call He about a fucking club. If it's not regarding ME, you ain't got shit to say to He over the phone. Whether you knew He before you knew me does not make a difference. he considers you NO friend at all. I draw the line there. And now that we have made the move to the next step in our relationship, that definitely stops.
It's not just about We. It's those that believe they can help me in any kind of way and they don't. I see you unsubscribing to my emails. And you claim you are "for" me. Chile, Boom and Bitch, Bye. Your papers have been served. Please don't ever think you are doing me any kind of favors. I am slowly making my mark, and I dare for any one of you hoes who "passed" on me to REACH for my glitter. No ma'am.

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