Last night, I was greeted with the presence of my ever-so inebriated father at my doorstep. For what was suppose to be a pleasant one night visit, quickly turned into hell within the first 10 seconds of seeing him. Before we even spoke a word to each other, I seen him fall on a parked truck. It's never any different, however, this is not what I am unhappy about.
My father has been an alcoholic for what I can recall 35 years. Probably starting before he was of the legal age until this day. Ultimately, it got worse when my mother was sick and passed in 2008. Many of my family members use her death as a crutch, better yet excuse, to do the things they do. This sickens me because it's almost like they are blaming her for dying, which she had no control over. In the last year or so, my dad has been in and out of the hospital with pancreatitis, fluid on the lungs, and after suffering a stroke, he now has an aneurysm on his brain. But, he still insists on drinking until he can't see straight and abusing the people that genuinely care for him, forcing them to stay away from him.
What I am so unhappy about is that at 25 years old, I still have to endure his alcohol and abuse. I've never been so vocal about my family issues until now because I know there are more people who have gone through or is going through the same issues that could possibly benefit from me. If you follow me on twitter, you probably have seen me tweet about my father being a substance abuser my entire life. I feel bad that I have to separate myself from him because I am his daughter and I should be there, but I can't. Not if I want to succeed.
You would think that after losing someone so close and someone that you love dearly, that you would change for the sake of her life. Not everyone thinks the same. How many people do you have to lose physically and personally for you to even "want" to change?
I feel bad for the women that he meets. I truly do. He is a womanizer and I don't believe for one minute he will treat them any different than he treated my mom. What they get now is sh** compared to the hell she went through. He doesn't even respect his parents or children, what makes you think he will respect you? You are nothing more than a person to pin the blame on when his sh** falls apart every other day. I honestly wish it could be different because there is someone that wants to help him, but unfortunately he hasn't changed.
While I will never discredit my father for being an awesome dad and provider, he did raise us well, but as a man and a husband to my mother, he was the worst.
**Disclaimer: The views express in this blog were written and posted by Lady Complex and does not reflect the views of readers.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Suicide Watch
On to a more serious note. The fashion world has lost an icon, Alexander McQueen, was said to have committed suicide. The talk is that it was prompted by the death of his mother about a week ago. So many can ask "was it that bad?"Technically, yes, it could've been that bad. Being that I have been to the place he was before he decided to end it all, I will say that I will never question someone's decision over their own life.
Losing my mother was like losing myself. She meant everything to me. There is not a day that goes by without a thought about her. I go to be every night with hopes of her visiting me in my dreams. I would give up everything to have her here today. She means more than any amount of money could buy.
No matter what material possessions, friends, future, etc, that may "look" good, may not always be good. Having millions, celeb friends, and a bright future is nothing when it comes to self. Self is who you have to deal with when all of that is gone. When there is nothing left to buy with your millions, your friends are elsewhere, and your future is a mere figment of your imagination, all you have left is self judgement. During my deepest days of depression after losing her, the last thing on my mind was money, friends, family, materialistic items or my future. It was self. Jumping out of an alcohol induced binge, I then realized that I was worth more than losing. I had people that looked up to me and loved me. But some do not make it out of that stage. I thank God that I did and in the same prayer, I pray for those that didn't/ won't.
Many would say that they are too "selfish" to take their own life, well how selfish is it to questions someone elses decision of their own?
I am not condoning "suicide" by any means. I have been in that dark place and lost people who were close to me that never made the more selfless decision.
"When you are alone, it's a dark and cold place."
Losing my mother was like losing myself. She meant everything to me. There is not a day that goes by without a thought about her. I go to be every night with hopes of her visiting me in my dreams. I would give up everything to have her here today. She means more than any amount of money could buy.
No matter what material possessions, friends, future, etc, that may "look" good, may not always be good. Having millions, celeb friends, and a bright future is nothing when it comes to self. Self is who you have to deal with when all of that is gone. When there is nothing left to buy with your millions, your friends are elsewhere, and your future is a mere figment of your imagination, all you have left is self judgement. During my deepest days of depression after losing her, the last thing on my mind was money, friends, family, materialistic items or my future. It was self. Jumping out of an alcohol induced binge, I then realized that I was worth more than losing. I had people that looked up to me and loved me. But some do not make it out of that stage. I thank God that I did and in the same prayer, I pray for those that didn't/ won't.
Many would say that they are too "selfish" to take their own life, well how selfish is it to questions someone elses decision of their own?
I am not condoning "suicide" by any means. I have been in that dark place and lost people who were close to me that never made the more selfless decision.
"When you are alone, it's a dark and cold place."
John Mayer and the KKK C*ck
"I have a Benneton heart and a David Duke c*ck."
Well, I'll be damned. I love John's honesty on his preference of women. It's fine with me cause my Polly doesnt want a cracker.
Even though I have heard about this Playboy interview long ago (either that or I have deja vu), it hit the blogs again yesterday. He was also asked about having a "hood pass" and he referred to it as a "nigger pass". I am hearing more people being pissed about his choice of twat than him using the "n" word. I could care less about either. I love black men and only black men, sooooo...Who am I to judge someone on their dating preference. I have my own that some may not like, but that is for me. I won't say that I will never date outside my race, but as for now, I can't see it.
I use terms about my race and other races that some may deem as racist, soooooo....I think its ignorant for one race to be able to use "derrogatory" terms and not let the other. Do I get mad when I hear someone saying "That black b****"? No, cause 9/10, they heard me say "That (insert race) b****". When you go to a comedy show, the black comedian is making jokes about all races and no one is getting offended or the "chink" joke dont make it to the morning news for stirring controversy. But, the moment a white comedian makes a joke about black people, we wanna fight.
All of yall get a BSTFUH. Get off the damn plantation.
Well, I'll be damned. I love John's honesty on his preference of women. It's fine with me cause my Polly doesnt want a cracker.
Even though I have heard about this Playboy interview long ago (either that or I have deja vu), it hit the blogs again yesterday. He was also asked about having a "hood pass" and he referred to it as a "nigger pass". I am hearing more people being pissed about his choice of twat than him using the "n" word. I could care less about either. I love black men and only black men, sooooo...Who am I to judge someone on their dating preference. I have my own that some may not like, but that is for me. I won't say that I will never date outside my race, but as for now, I can't see it.
I use terms about my race and other races that some may deem as racist, soooooo....I think its ignorant for one race to be able to use "derrogatory" terms and not let the other. Do I get mad when I hear someone saying "That black b****"? No, cause 9/10, they heard me say "That (insert race) b****". When you go to a comedy show, the black comedian is making jokes about all races and no one is getting offended or the "chink" joke dont make it to the morning news for stirring controversy. But, the moment a white comedian makes a joke about black people, we wanna fight.
All of yall get a BSTFUH. Get off the damn plantation.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
True Life: I'm Rocking a Knock-Off
*Gasp* Or should we use the new term "Replica Couture"? In the fashion world, this is considered a "faux-pas". But, for those who do frequent those streets, you do what you can. Is it a huge crime? Don't think so. Some cant manage to purchase the authentic, so they opt for this. While others can and still opt for the knock-offs. Not all the time are they worth the cost. Most of the time, they are a trend for the season, unless you're purchasing a signature staple. However, if quality is what you're looking for and your check book permits then I say go! I am going to give a few pointers to those that choose (or have no choice) how to rock a knock-off:
Prepare for the dirty looks from the b****es that can tell.
Before you purchase that knock-off, please do your research. Make sure the style bag you want actually is made by that brand.
Keep it simple. The more extravagant the bag looks, the easier it is to spot that its a faux.
Inspect the quality (or lack there of) of your knock-off. (LV is brown, not green)
Take those silly paper tags off.
Act like your use to nice things. You don't need to parade that bag in peoples faces.
Don't walk around with whats suppose to be a $1000 bag while donning skinny jeans and a South Pole bubble jacket. Be realistic. No one is ever gonna believe you. That's the days you should leave that bag home.
Lose the tude. Don't make it easy for someone to point out your fake. Because, yes, you can tell.
Fake LV on your arm? Please, by pass the LV store quickly. The sales associates will walk right past you. Better yet, just shop online. =)
Don't try to salvage that bag. The strap or zipper breaks- just let it go. I mean, what did you really expect?
Be discreet about your purchases. Not everyone needs to know where you get these things from.
If and when someone asks you where did you get your bag from, please do us all a favor and say with a lip smack "Uhh, the (Louis Vuitton) Store." but please be mindful on the location of the stores, just in case they ask you which one.
And when you are finally ready to make that purchase of an authentic; please don't think you are their top client. They have clientele that spend what you make in a year in one sitting.
I wrote this post to make it a little more believable when you are sporting your arm pieces. Not to mention a note to not judge people on their material possessions. We all can't be fashion mavens, but you can try.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Complex Advice for Shaquille O'Neal
I hope your lawyer is ready.
Thanks,
Management
While I'm on a roll discussing the Brazen Beauties of the NBA and trying not to be consumed in the gossip gander, I might as well discuss the smartest of them all...Shaunie O'Neal.
Being the wife of one of the best in the league, Shaquille O'Neal, Shaunie has learned to play her position and ultimately win in the name of whorish love. She's been where many women have gone and I am sure never wanted to go back- unless were money involved. After being outted by SuperHead for having lackluster, sweat wrentching, ratchett sex, I never looked at him the same. Shaunie popped out atleast 5 kids for this man and he has obviously cheated on her throughout the marriage. A year or so ago, Shaq stirred headlines accusing his wife of infidelity and "stealing" his money. Ummm? Stealing? His money? No, b****, y'all are married and whether you'd like to know it or not, that sh** is hers too. Infidelity? Chile, boo. No sir, we have heard about your sexcapades (even though they were all horrible) around the world. Stop this madness.
Let's say Shaunie was cheating on him, he found out and clearly got jealous. He then ran to the press and then to a "lawyer",and submitted a petition to divorce. And what did he think that was going to do? Maybe a lot to him, hoping that Shaunie didn't have proof. Fortunately (at the time), they rekindled the romance and all was heaven. Well, not really. Emails surfaced in November of Shaq and Gilbert Arenas wife, Laura Govan steamy (GAG) relationship. Somewhere stated between "Hi" and "Hoesh**", Lonnie G (as Govan goes by) states that she and Shaunie were good friends. Shaunie had the ball in her court and is taking that ass to divorce court.
The Brothel Madame in my mind is screaming this was a set up. A very good one I may say. Let me explain my theory. Shaunie was sick of Shaq's gawd awful sex, popping out 16 lb babies every other year, and his bull corn. She didn't have her duck(etts) in a row when Shaq was busy spreading "vicious lies" about her stealing and cheating and filed for divorce. She needed a plan. A plan that required patience and tactic. Money grabbing tactics. Who more to ask for assistance than your bestie who is busy popping out babies for her NBA husband as well? Lonnie G. Shaunie and Lonnie G set Shaq up and get proof. Proof was in the emails.
I am simply giving my opinion. If this is true, I will stan for Shaunie even more. She will be my idol and should start a summer camp for all the drab ass whores tryna lock down a great divoce settlement. Elin Nordegrin will be her top pupil! Team Shaunie!!
Before you click the link to read the emails, I am warning you. It's worse than seeing Tiger Woods' " I'm gonna wear you out" text messages...http://blacksportsonline.com/home/index.php/2009/11/shaqs-pimp-focus-is-strong-sleeping-with-gilbert-arenas-fiance-we-got-emails/
All is fair in divorce and basketball. Or so they say.
Thanks,
Management
While I'm on a roll discussing the Brazen Beauties of the NBA and trying not to be consumed in the gossip gander, I might as well discuss the smartest of them all...Shaunie O'Neal.
Being the wife of one of the best in the league, Shaquille O'Neal, Shaunie has learned to play her position and ultimately win in the name of whorish love. She's been where many women have gone and I am sure never wanted to go back- unless were money involved. After being outted by SuperHead for having lackluster, sweat wrentching, ratchett sex, I never looked at him the same. Shaunie popped out atleast 5 kids for this man and he has obviously cheated on her throughout the marriage. A year or so ago, Shaq stirred headlines accusing his wife of infidelity and "stealing" his money. Ummm? Stealing? His money? No, b****, y'all are married and whether you'd like to know it or not, that sh** is hers too. Infidelity? Chile, boo. No sir, we have heard about your sexcapades (even though they were all horrible) around the world. Stop this madness.
Let's say Shaunie was cheating on him, he found out and clearly got jealous. He then ran to the press and then to a "lawyer",and submitted a petition to divorce. And what did he think that was going to do? Maybe a lot to him, hoping that Shaunie didn't have proof. Fortunately (at the time), they rekindled the romance and all was heaven. Well, not really. Emails surfaced in November of Shaq and Gilbert Arenas wife, Laura Govan steamy (GAG) relationship. Somewhere stated between "Hi" and "Hoesh**", Lonnie G (as Govan goes by) states that she and Shaunie were good friends. Shaunie had the ball in her court and is taking that ass to divorce court.
The Brothel Madame in my mind is screaming this was a set up. A very good one I may say. Let me explain my theory. Shaunie was sick of Shaq's gawd awful sex, popping out 16 lb babies every other year, and his bull corn. She didn't have her duck(etts) in a row when Shaq was busy spreading "vicious lies" about her stealing and cheating and filed for divorce. She needed a plan. A plan that required patience and tactic. Money grabbing tactics. Who more to ask for assistance than your bestie who is busy popping out babies for her NBA husband as well? Lonnie G. Shaunie and Lonnie G set Shaq up and get proof. Proof was in the emails.
I am simply giving my opinion. If this is true, I will stan for Shaunie even more. She will be my idol and should start a summer camp for all the drab ass whores tryna lock down a great divoce settlement. Elin Nordegrin will be her top pupil! Team Shaunie!!
Before you click the link to read the emails, I am warning you. It's worse than seeing Tiger Woods' " I'm gonna wear you out" text messages...http://blacksportsonline.com/home/index.php/2009/11/shaqs-pimp-focus-is-strong-sleeping-with-gilbert-arenas-fiance-we-got-emails/
All is fair in divorce and basketball. Or so they say.
Complex Advice for Dwight Howard:
Kick rocks.
Thanks,
Management.
I wasn't going to touch on this itchy-sitchy, even though it's kind of old news, it still bothers me. I dont have a child or have ever dealt with baby mama/daddy issues so I try not to speak on sh** I haven't been through. For those who haven't heard the story that Dwight Howard plans to sue his baby's mother, Royce Reed, over slander or some sort. He also had a court injunction, or I shall call it a muzzle over her mouth to not even speak his name. I don't know too much detail but hell, that's all I need.
Granted that I do understand that there are always two sides to each story, this sh** is out of hand. As a man, Dwight Howard needs to get his a** off his (gorgeous) shoulders and respect that woman as the mother of his child. Regardless of whatever she may be tweeting to her 200 followers, she gave birth to his son. If he is sooo worried about what someone says about him as a father, he should ask the 98% of the NBA on how they handle those problems. All in all, he is suing her for hundreds of thousands of dollars, which he knows she does not have. So what Dwight, your payback is to sue her for money she doesnt have so you can get out of paying her child support? B****, please. If you want to ignore her as a woman, you can do so, but not the mother of your son, to whom you should be setting an example for.
I am sure your name gets slandered on and off the court by your opponents or anyone else that has ill-will towards you, Dwight, so why not sue them or put a muzzle over their mouths? I think you're scared. I mean, you still fine as hell, but you scared.
You can try to sue me, but I aint got sh**.
Thanks,
Management.
I wasn't going to touch on this itchy-sitchy, even though it's kind of old news, it still bothers me. I dont have a child or have ever dealt with baby mama/daddy issues so I try not to speak on sh** I haven't been through. For those who haven't heard the story that Dwight Howard plans to sue his baby's mother, Royce Reed, over slander or some sort. He also had a court injunction, or I shall call it a muzzle over her mouth to not even speak his name. I don't know too much detail but hell, that's all I need.
Granted that I do understand that there are always two sides to each story, this sh** is out of hand. As a man, Dwight Howard needs to get his a** off his (gorgeous) shoulders and respect that woman as the mother of his child. Regardless of whatever she may be tweeting to her 200 followers, she gave birth to his son. If he is sooo worried about what someone says about him as a father, he should ask the 98% of the NBA on how they handle those problems. All in all, he is suing her for hundreds of thousands of dollars, which he knows she does not have. So what Dwight, your payback is to sue her for money she doesnt have so you can get out of paying her child support? B****, please. If you want to ignore her as a woman, you can do so, but not the mother of your son, to whom you should be setting an example for.
I am sure your name gets slandered on and off the court by your opponents or anyone else that has ill-will towards you, Dwight, so why not sue them or put a muzzle over their mouths? I think you're scared. I mean, you still fine as hell, but you scared.
You can try to sue me, but I aint got sh**.
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