Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Who's to Blame?: The Mashonda Effect

I try to steer away from the normal Hollywood gossip, but when certain sitchies hit close to home I like to speak on them from my point of view. This is a typical circumstance in everyone's life. Whether it has happened to you personally or someone you know may have experienced it. I touched on this a little while ago, but I felt the need to reiterate.
Let's take the whole Swizz Beats, Alicia Keys and Mashonda debacle. At the beginning it was quite ugly, with Mashonda tweeting her life away while her then husband and his then girlfriend were traveling the world. Now, we have a divorce and a new marriage and to Mashonda, all is forgiven. So what was the big deal then?
In my opinion, Mashonda was mad at the wrong person. First, she knew who she married. Her husband's relationship with Alicia was not the first extramarital affair he had. Not to even mention the fact that they were separated. To many people, that makes no difference, but if it didn't there are many other celebs who fall into that loop, too. Maybe it is different if there was no "agreement" about the separation terms. Maybe Mashonda was led on, maybe Swizz told her and she was playing the victim. I don't know. But, I do know this, Mashonda wasn't doing all this *motions hands in circles* when Swizz got another woman pregnant. We didn't know about this until...shit, recently.
Was it the fact that no one "knew" this woman as opposed to A. Keys being a more tangible person to ridicule as a "home wrecker"? Let's see, A. Keys has the international fame and this unknown woman has what? Nothing. So, was it easier to kill a reputation of a woman with major success than it was to hurt another woman who had a child with your husband? Or was it more embarrassing for you to let people know about the child than for you to openly discuss with the public of the relationship he was having with another woman? Mashonda generated publicity, mainly to the black community, and basically slandered Alicia more than her husband. Jealousy, perhaps? Maybe, but that's not the issue. Was it easier to accept a baby over an affair? You would think the bigger hurt would be a child outside of your marriage. Why is it so hard for Mashonda and this baby mama to communicate? Both are on twitter. Are they oblivious to each others existence. Or, is it easier for them to pretend that each other never existed to begin with? Mashonda not wanting to admit the child as her then husband's and home girl not wanting to admit she had a baby with a married man? Denial is a whore with kitten heels. Or was it harder to know that Alicia would leave with the ultimate "prize"? The marriage, fame, money, child? But, eh.
The issue here, and in many cases, is that society tends to condemn the other woman (or man) in these situations before we condemn the person who indeed broke those vows. If you're married and your wife (or husband) cheats, who is really the home wrecker? The other person may not (or may have) known about the marriage, but are they to blame as an adulterer? In my opinion, no. The other person is not the one who took those vows and made a promise to God. Is it wrong for the other person to continue the relationship after knowing? Sure. I believe in the Dean's ( all parties last names) case, this was not the issue- if a separation was in place. The home was wrecked before there was Alicia.
Now everything is kosher. Mashonda has "moved on", Swizz and Alicia are married and there is a baby on the way. And where is the girl who had the baby for Swizz? Still dwelling and sending little messages to Alicia via twitter (like she even reads that shit). I hope Alicia knows who she married, but I do believe that people can change for the right reason and maybe she is the reason that Swizz will change. Until then, Swizz Beats is the home wrecker.


Aprill said...

I would love to agree but I cannot. I love the phrase it takes two to tango. I blame both parties. She was aware that he was married just like he was aware. She was also aware of the other child.

But you reap what you sow. The way you get them is the way they leave you, happens everytime. I remain optimistic that their marriage will last, but with his track record, he will have another woman in 2 years. Men are funny beings, they are not vocal, they dont tell you what's wrong so here's this woman thinking that she is doing everything for her man, and poof! He moves on to another woman. Happens all the time.

Anyway in conclusion, I am the type of hag that puts the mark on both parties, not just one.

Kitty said...

I blame Swizzy more than A. Keys too. I totally agree with what you said about him being the one that walked down the aisle and made those vows making him the ultimate hoe of the situation.
Everyone thinks they'll be the one to change a man and are disappointed when he doesn't change. Hopefully their marriage will work out but I can't say I'll be surprised if it doesn't.