"I never claimed that I, nor was anything in my life perfect, I am just comfortable with everything it is." -Ashley Leger Yep. I am coining that. Send royalties via pay pal. =) Did you ever find yourself in a sense of complacency? It's not such a bad place to be. I am finding out day by day that being comfortable is in fact the place to live in peace. I was asked today how did I get to where I am at now? Which was a comment under my FaceBook status "I am in such a good place, negativity just bounces off my shoulder." I simply replied, "I asked myself What do you need most, Ashley?" and as much as I prayed on it, I claimed my sanity and peace of mind. It's so much easier for us to blame another human being for our happiness and the unfortunate UN-happiness, but it's even easier for us to pray and ask for happiness within ourselves in order to achieve the ultimate prize which is...peace of mind. I never knew how expensive peace of mind could be until I went through rough times, questioning everything that was wrong in my life. But once I got it, it was worth the cost (prayer, sacrifice, love). It's far to priceless for me to just let go, or hand off at the drop of a hat. I was explaining to a friend of mine that having peace of mind is being comfortable with all of your misfortunes along with your fortunes. Accepting the good and the bad, what you have and what you don't and being open to accepting a change within yourself. It begins with you and ends with you, once you recognize that, everything and everyone will fall in place. Everyone else may know that you are worth your weight in gold, but it doesn't mean shit if you don't know. And what could you possibly "know" if you don't have a mind? If you walk around moping, unappreciative, looking like hot garbage, do you not think others notice that? And they will treat you accordingly. It's easy to say you want to be in love and find someone to love you and promise you this fairy tale life, but the odds are it's not going to happen that way. They are circumstances and incidents that are imminent in ALL relationships, but of you want love, than that's a risk you must be willing to take. It may look to some that I have made more sacrifices than my fiance' in our relationship and it may be that way, however, I don't regret one move that I made because ultimately, I got exactly what I and my mother always wanted, a man that treats me how I treat me. That's the goal in love right? To find stability, complacency, happiness? I look back at all those decisions to "stay" and "stick through", the nights I sat up thinking I was being a fool and acting out on his foolish choices (and some of my own), wondering if I was making the right decisions, and now I thank God for taking me through that to get me here. It's not all about love, though. It's enjoying every minute of life you can. It's being okay with sleeping in an entire weekend, or looking at a basket full of clothes and saying "I will fold them tomorrow." and tomorrow turns into three days, but those three days were all about you. It's losing a close friend to "differences" and learning that everyone plays a part in this movie called "Life" and that that particular scene has ended. Soon, you will come to the realization that the only thing worth fighting for is your sanity and health. Something that made it a little easier to deal with after I lost mommy, I began to live by this "I fear nothing in life but death." It just helps me appreciate and experience what life has to offer so much more.
Shade Queen Numero Uno: Quincy Jones **photo via google** Farrah Fawcett as Barbie
Thanks to my fellow twitter-er, @BriePYT, I got this awesome link to the beloved roller-set and feathered hair lover Farrah Fawcett. Farrah passed in June 2009 and I celebrated her life the same weekend as mommy's with what else? Feathered hair! Peep the photo and link to how a real Barbie looks.
 **photo and link via thefrisky.com** Wednesday, November 24, 2010The Butterfly Effect: Recurrences In My Life.Before watching the movie years ago, you would always hear the term "Everything happens for a reason." or its being called the "Domino Effect". But seeing it, in a fictional sense, made me question more if one particular instance, circumstance, happening, etc could falter a series of events or could make your entire lifetime different? Taken from the next thing to Google, this is the definition/ meaning of The Butterfly Effect based on the Chaos Theory via Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly_effect: "Recurrence, the approximate return of a system towards its initial conditions, together with sensitive dependence on initial conditions are the two main ingredients for chaotic motion. They have the practical consequence of making complex systems, such as the weather, difficult to predict past a certain time range (approximately a week in the case of weather), since it is impossible to measure the starting atmospheric conditions completely accurately."
This type of shit gets my wheels spinning. Let's take my life full circle with specific events and persons for example. Here goes...
If I would've never watched the news for days straight with my mother the night of Princess Diana's death in 1997, would I have ever been infatuated with the Royal Family? Would that have also stopped the death of Aaliyah in 2001, which I also watched the telecasts with my mother on TV? If Aaliyah's death would've never happened, would I have moved to Dallas in 2002 to pursue a college education in Fashion? If I would've have stayed in Dallas, would the 2004 Indian Ocean Tsunami have happened? And if that would have never happened, that means our family wouldn't have a nickname for my niece who is named after Aaliyah, "Shamommy" (MoMo couldn't pronounce "tsunami"). If Hurricane Rita wouldn't have happened in 2005, would I have never met the man of my dreams in Houston? If i would've never met He, would I have been as prepared to take care of mommy the way I was in 2008, or would she have even been sick? If mommy wouldn't have passed in 2008, would I have gotten a puppy a week ago from He that I posthumously named "Princess Di"?
I would like to think that it is and will always be God's plan and not some man-made theoretical conspiracy, but my connection to the "other" world and my beliefs in divine confirmations makes me second guess. It all makes perfect sense to me, but would it make sense in a perfect world? That's a question I wont keep asking myself. This world isn't perfect and will never be. Tuesday, November 23, 2010WERK!: Brian Atwood Brian Atwood has been bringing it with the stripper shoe game. Pure awesomeness. Like, I don'tthink yall see these. OhEmmeGee. *dry heaves* Putcho Louboutin's on and yo' Brian Atwood heels and skip to my lou my darlin' cause you're BEAT TO THE GILLS!" -DJ Fatha Julz **photo via shoptyle.com** Something New.No, not a white man. Just some new things I want to try with the blog. I was using my tumblr for some of my ramblings and one liners, but after realizing how much I could be putting that energy there, I could do it here. Yay me! Anyhow, it'll will be a few changes and new entries that may tickle your fancy. If you follow me on twitter, you probably know how I like to dissect pictures and videos, so that will be a new element here. In order for me to stay true to my beliefs on celebrity gossip and stick with my personal rants and opinions, I will try to do my best. With that being said, get your gossip from my baby mama MissJia!! I am excited! Are you?
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**Disclaimer: The views express in this blog were written and posted by Lady Complex and does not reflect the views of readers.
