Today is one of those days where everyone is on my Shit List. I can't seem to think how the people that I love and support have such a hard time reciprocating that gesture. I am by far a selfish person with my wealth. My wealth being my finances, materialistics, creativity, thoughts, love, or anything positive that I possess greater than others. When I help others, it's because I want to. And for what I reap, it's an immeasurable blessing and benefit. However, I have constantly been shitted on in the past and in the present, and I am about sick of it.
I wrote a blog months ago about supporting your peers. I generally want everyone to win, especially the underdogs. I have supported numerous bull shit business ventures by people because I love when someone is ambitious. Then ambition turns to greed, I immediately want to renege my support. When you have your heart and mind set on something to improve your and others lives, and when the money is coming in like you want, you want to jump into something else that requires more support from me. You trying to wear too many hats and it aint gon' work. These are Jacks of all Trades and Masters of None. Genuine support is hard to come by, and I would appreciate that if I support you, you do the same for me. I have passed so many ideas on to others and have not been properly thanked (support) for. Not to mention, I have discussed my own personal ideas to others to have them SHITTED on and then STOLEN. From now on, I will NOT discuss anything in the future to anyone, nor will I give up my "connect" to anyone. You need something? You go through me or find your own way out. It seems as if that's what I have to do now.
I hate asking for favors anyway. People will say anything and with me it's unnecessary. You can't do somethiing to help me, say that. Don't have me waiting in the dust because you said you can get something done. I can google shit if I wanted, but since you said (without me asking), that you can have it done, and you can't give me results. Just say no. Its okay to reply to my email, with a "No, I am sorry." or "Bitch, I don't work for free!" I totally GET IT. I believe in principle. It can be a favor for a favor, it can be purchased, whatever, I get it. What you don't get is that you can lose out on the biggest blessing by not wanting to help someone else. It doesn't hurt to help- FOR FREE. The sad part is that certain people in my life who deserve what I can offer may not get because I will be extremely selective on what and who I chose to help. Sprinkling Glitter (offering support and motivation) to someone every damn day is starting to be the downfall of my life. I am giving you want I can give to myself. I give you a fucking great idea and there you go. What do I have left for myself? Tears.
There are so many people out there that I don't even know personally or have even met, that send me more motivation than the people I "know". And to those wonderful people, you can get have all of my glitter. As for the others, I can be the "go-to" person for your benefit, but I can't ask you for shit? Seriously, tho? Please evaluate your life. Better yet, let me evaluate mine.
Now that felt good.
**Disclaimer: The views express in this blog were written and posted by Lady Complex and does not reflect the views of readers.
Showing posts with label Lady Complex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lady Complex. Show all posts
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Check My Credits, Heaux.
After taking my normal "Stroll on the Blog Walk" yesterday morning, I posted "Complex Obsession: GianMarco Lorenzi" on here. Then after that, I continued whoring onto twitter to link my post. Just then, an updated tweet with a link to a popular gossip site about the same shoes I posted with similar commentary. Okay, coincidence, maybe. Then, I noticed below that post was a post regarding Shaquille O'neal and ex-wife Shaunie that was stating the same shit I posted months ago. Now a coincidence? Hell Nawl. While, I was flattered to have thought that maybe, just maybe this popular blogger was stanning for Lady Complex on the side line, I also didn't want to feel like someone just straight up raped me for my writing(s). I went on a rant on twitter, just to make sure I wasn't trippin'. However, most did agree that the posts were way to similar, and too close together.
This type of mess happens in the blogosphere, typically with celebrity gossip bloggers. While I am not against them, I do read some on a daily, it's just not my thing. I have stated numerous times before that I don't "do" gossip, and just because I don't name drop, I do know people and I could kill it if I wanted to. The "Celebrity" thing? Not me. When I get info, I got it from the horses mouth. I dont speak on here say. And if I chose to speak on something pertaining to "gossip" (ie, Shaq and Shaunie), I will speak on it generally, and trust my info is CORRECT. I'm not looking for a "sponsor" so I dont need celeb gossip to bring me fame. I'm going to work hard for this shit...and not sell ass doing so. But, since I am not a gossip blogger, I didn't think my shit was up for grabs.
It's a known fact that bigger bloggers will take smaller bloggers stories and use it as their own. It's ridiculous because these same "Brand" bloggers were exactly where we (so many dope bloggers I know) are now. Fighting for notarity and accolades. But those who continuously bicker with others about stealing pictures or giving due credit and links, don't do the same for others. They probably go on thinking that since I'm a No Name Brand (generic) Blogger, no one is checkin' for me. Chile, boom. Blogging is hard work, especially when you are a writer-type blogger. No one can just jump into this thinking its so easy. They for one should know this.
I mean, I could've said something directly. I hope this shit doesnt happen again with this particular hussy. Then, yes, I'mma get out my box and get direct with a mofo. Until time shows it's ugly ass (again), I'm going to continue to blog about what matters to me and vouch for my fellow No Name Brand Bloggers.
FYI: I will cut a heaux about my shit.
This type of mess happens in the blogosphere, typically with celebrity gossip bloggers. While I am not against them, I do read some on a daily, it's just not my thing. I have stated numerous times before that I don't "do" gossip, and just because I don't name drop, I do know people and I could kill it if I wanted to. The "Celebrity" thing? Not me. When I get info, I got it from the horses mouth. I dont speak on here say. And if I chose to speak on something pertaining to "gossip" (ie, Shaq and Shaunie), I will speak on it generally, and trust my info is CORRECT. I'm not looking for a "sponsor" so I dont need celeb gossip to bring me fame. I'm going to work hard for this shit...and not sell ass doing so. But, since I am not a gossip blogger, I didn't think my shit was up for grabs.
It's a known fact that bigger bloggers will take smaller bloggers stories and use it as their own. It's ridiculous because these same "Brand" bloggers were exactly where we (so many dope bloggers I know) are now. Fighting for notarity and accolades. But those who continuously bicker with others about stealing pictures or giving due credit and links, don't do the same for others. They probably go on thinking that since I'm a No Name Brand (generic) Blogger, no one is checkin' for me. Chile, boom. Blogging is hard work, especially when you are a writer-type blogger. No one can just jump into this thinking its so easy. They for one should know this.
I mean, I could've said something directly. I hope this shit doesnt happen again with this particular hussy. Then, yes, I'mma get out my box and get direct with a mofo. Until time shows it's ugly ass (again), I'm going to continue to blog about what matters to me and vouch for my fellow No Name Brand Bloggers.
FYI: I will cut a heaux about my shit.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Complex Obsession: GianMarco Lorenzi
If you find yourself obsessing over these, jump on twitter and stalk @RubeisSOrude's whole life on the boardwalk. After the BBM convo you can read below, i jumped on google and found that the shoes are located at Gregory's Shoes. Who would've known? Gregory's is known to be the whoring plateau for all the mistresses in the great state of Texas. How do I know? Let's just say I know my hoeshit, and years ago (in Dallas) before I became a domesticated Lady of Leisure, I used to...well, ya know. And not to mention, Gregory's is a part of the Illuminati. But instead of paying the whopping $2795 pricetag, which would consist of me selling ass via Craigslist, moving to ATL and performing pole tricks at Magic City on Monday's or becoming someone's concubine so I can live my entire life in these joobies. Until then, I'll settle for buying a pump from Aldo and buying all the rhinestones and hot glue in stock at Hobby Lobby.
BBM Conversation:
Ruby: GET.INTO.THESE.NOW!!!!!
Lady Complex: Bitch, what! Where? Who?!!
Ruby: Dis-fucking-gusting. I wann live my whole life in those.
Lady Complex: Who are those for? OMG. I need them. Names. Brand, something!
Ruby: Hold on let me check.
Lady Complex: Please!
Ruby: GianMarco Lorenzi, limited edition. But, check the rest of his collection.
Lady Complex: Fuckkkkkkkk
Ruby: =(
Twitter @Replies:
@LadyComplex: @RubeisSORude omg them shoes are like so expensive.
@RubeisSORude: @LadyComplex How much?
@LadyComplex: @RubeisSORude those are 2800.
@LadyComplex: @RubeisSORude id have to live my whole life in them shoes. they more than my rent.
@RubeisSORude: @LadyComplex 3, 4 mths of rent, shit! I'd be living my whole life in them LITERALLY. At Wal-Mart, church, Sonic, the park, EVERYWHERE in 'em
@BaddBoogie: @LadyComplex LAWD !! #jesusbeasugadaddy
@RPinHD: @LadyComplex @rubeissorude Looks like SOMEBODY needs to take a good Stafford loan out.
@smashedthehomie: @LadyComplex UH THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS!
@EbonyKeira: @LadyComplex I would get pregnant AND deliver my baby in those shoes.
@RPinHD: @smashedthehomie @RubeisSORude @LadyComplex I'd sell sperm for those shoes, and I don't even do drag.
@LadyComplex: i may blog about these. hmmmm.
@RubeisSORude: @LadyComplex Blog about how I gotta get on the pole to get monnay to get them hoes #realniggasdorealshit
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Kat Scratch Fever, Choyclate Drops, Blogs & Burnt Skin
So, I've been sick with a sinus infection for the last week and on top of that, I had an episode of heat rash all over my abdomen and back. It's all my fault tho, I jumped my dumb ass head first into the tanning bed, 3 days in a row. Over exposure like a biatch. But anywho, I just want to rant with you for a moment.
Over the weekend, or through the week (can't really remember since I've doped up on cold meds and drenched in calamine lotion), along came a trick named Kat Stacks on twitter, claiming to have smashed the homies. The said homies are none other than some no name brand cats, Lil' Twist in particular, who is only 15 (I believe), and says that the "castmates" of Young Money are nothing but roommates that sleep in bunkbeds. You may ask, if Kat Snatch indeed hit that (Lil' Twist), who are the people condoning her pedophiliac antics? Plenny heauxs. If you haven't seen her youtube, let me suggest you grab a Rosetta Stone: Heauxshit Speak, but I'd rather send you over to my choyclate drop Kid Fury's for his repsonse to Kat Scratching Post. However, her antics are not my problem. She is claiming to have gotten a book deal out of her scandolous sexcapades. Uh, what? Superhead did this like 5 years ago, Carmen Bryan tried and failed successfully, and I'm sure there are plenty other jezebels running around with your favorite rapper's jizz on her belly, but those broads know better (not really). Who cares who you slept with? The best part(s) of her story is that she LIED. But good to know there is a woman who will give any willing her loose parts for cab fare and $1200.
It's no secret that out of all of this, ultimately I'm trying to get publishing as soon as I finish my book. Blogging is an added "equity" to my writing. It challenges me to write more on different topics as to one topic which would be the subject of the book. Not to mention it helps me introduce myself to more viewers. I made a comment on twitter the other day that said, "I wish writer type bloggers got the attention the gossip-type bloggers recieved". No shade to gossip bloggers, lawd knows I need them like water. There are so many bloggers who write about dope shit and gets no accolades. It takes my "New Post" tweet to be RT'd 37 times before I get ONE click. It's not that my work isnt quality, it's because most people would probably rather compare their lives to a celebrity, than a working class human being. It's cool though, I know that my words will reach someone and actually mean something.
This post may not make sense, or even mean anything to y'all, but hell, I had some things to say. But, my question is: who is this "literary agent" that lurks on twitter, offering such book deals? Send them my way. Thanks.
Over the weekend, or through the week (can't really remember since I've doped up on cold meds and drenched in calamine lotion), along came a trick named Kat Stacks on twitter, claiming to have smashed the homies. The said homies are none other than some no name brand cats, Lil' Twist in particular, who is only 15 (I believe), and says that the "castmates" of Young Money are nothing but roommates that sleep in bunkbeds. You may ask, if Kat Snatch indeed hit that (Lil' Twist), who are the people condoning her pedophiliac antics? Plenny heauxs. If you haven't seen her youtube, let me suggest you grab a Rosetta Stone: Heauxshit Speak, but I'd rather send you over to my choyclate drop Kid Fury's for his repsonse to Kat Scratching Post. However, her antics are not my problem. She is claiming to have gotten a book deal out of her scandolous sexcapades. Uh, what? Superhead did this like 5 years ago, Carmen Bryan tried and failed successfully, and I'm sure there are plenty other jezebels running around with your favorite rapper's jizz on her belly, but those broads know better (not really). Who cares who you slept with? The best part(s) of her story is that she LIED. But good to know there is a woman who will give any willing her loose parts for cab fare and $1200.
It's no secret that out of all of this, ultimately I'm trying to get publishing as soon as I finish my book. Blogging is an added "equity" to my writing. It challenges me to write more on different topics as to one topic which would be the subject of the book. Not to mention it helps me introduce myself to more viewers. I made a comment on twitter the other day that said, "I wish writer type bloggers got the attention the gossip-type bloggers recieved". No shade to gossip bloggers, lawd knows I need them like water. There are so many bloggers who write about dope shit and gets no accolades. It takes my "New Post" tweet to be RT'd 37 times before I get ONE click. It's not that my work isnt quality, it's because most people would probably rather compare their lives to a celebrity, than a working class human being. It's cool though, I know that my words will reach someone and actually mean something.
This post may not make sense, or even mean anything to y'all, but hell, I had some things to say. But, my question is: who is this "literary agent" that lurks on twitter, offering such book deals? Send them my way. Thanks.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Lady Complex Radio Debut
This past Sunday, I finally got my shit together and debuted Lady Complex Radio! I dedicated the segment to all female EVERYTHING! Any business savvy woman who has been driving themselves to accomplish a goal in whatever it is they are doing were welcome to call in and promote their brand. I did this specifically to support women like me who have trouble networking with other women due to fear of competition. I don't compete with anyone, so helping someone even in the same genre as me means nothing and is helping me sow good seeds.
However, Blog Talk Radio had plans to not let me be great, but I overcame. My switchboard had disappeared on my computer screen and it took for what seemed the whole hour segment to reappear. As much as I wanted to give up, I had some great Twitter friends who helped me through!! At one point, I said, "just let me ger one person on the line." And that's all I got! I spoke with Dawn from http://www.divadishtalk.com/ and she was awesome! I tweet with her a lot through the week, but hearing her voice and her speak on why she started blogging was inspirational. Dawn said she started with an internship to a popular gossip blog and was inspired to have her own after DJ AM's mother made the statement, "Find something you love to do and do it for free and then people will start paying you for it." That gave me chills!!
Unfortunately, I had more callers on hold to speak to and couldnt due to the technical difficulties that I will tend to with BTR. I had the ladies send me all their information to post. If you havent connected with any of these women, please do...they are all awesome in my book!!
http://www.divadishtalk.com/, ran by Dawn of Memphis, TN, is a celebrity entertainment blog and has recently featured an interview with Antonia (Toya) Carter of BET's hit reality series "Tiny & Toya". Follow @DivaDishTalk on twitter.
http://www.butilovememore.com/, an inspirational life changing blog written by author, motivational speaker and Canadian native Nova Browning Rutherford, out of Los Angeles. Features life experiences and motivational stories. @butilovememore
http://www.embraceurlife.blogspot.com/, on www.BlogTalkRadio.com/embraceliferadio, is a weekly radio show (Wednesday's @ 8p) that impacts and empowers peers ages 19-34 hosted by Tiffani Walker out of Chicago, IL. follow @embraceurlife on twitter.
Her Shoe Fetish, a Tupelo, MS shoe store female owned and operated , check http://www.her-fetish.com/. follow @mzhershoefetish
Here are a few women I follow on Twitter that I have high hopes for and their brand!
@queenrosa has a cookbook you can purchase on http://www.divadishes.com/ and also get free recipes to seduce the love in your life.
@minxhouston the first Medical Nail Technician, offering the hottest nail couture to date, clientelle consists of Mya, Keri Hilson, Trina and LeToya Luckett.
@empressmag, an internet magazine that caters to the lifestyle of the inner empresses. I also contribute monthly to http://www.empressmag.com/.
@orig_glamazon write under the blog http://www.theglamchronicles.blogspot.com/, a highly intelligent woman who talks about everything from life, love and politics.
@caresslepore is a fashion blogger out of the ATL, that bases her themes on Disney movies and fashion icons. http://www.dafashionist.onsugar.com/
@luxurymoondust, whom I have come to love on twitter, a very candid and witty blogger on http://www.fcktheword.blogspot.com/
@whymelawd an awesome writer who's office stories are hilarious, yet true. http://www.happyaboutthis.com/
@marikai, who serves as VP to the Straight Girls for Amber Rose movement, http://www.black-american-princess-interrupted.blogspot.com/.
If you are not already, please follow these lovely ladies!! There is a little something out there for all of us!! And despite the issues with BTR on Sunday, I can not wait for the next broadcast!!
You are all officially Ladies of Complex!!!
-If I missed your link, please post it in the comment section or send me an email so you can get a free feature on my next BTR show!!
However, Blog Talk Radio had plans to not let me be great, but I overcame. My switchboard had disappeared on my computer screen and it took for what seemed the whole hour segment to reappear. As much as I wanted to give up, I had some great Twitter friends who helped me through!! At one point, I said, "just let me ger one person on the line." And that's all I got! I spoke with Dawn from http://www.divadishtalk.com/ and she was awesome! I tweet with her a lot through the week, but hearing her voice and her speak on why she started blogging was inspirational. Dawn said she started with an internship to a popular gossip blog and was inspired to have her own after DJ AM's mother made the statement, "Find something you love to do and do it for free and then people will start paying you for it." That gave me chills!!
Unfortunately, I had more callers on hold to speak to and couldnt due to the technical difficulties that I will tend to with BTR. I had the ladies send me all their information to post. If you havent connected with any of these women, please do...they are all awesome in my book!!
http://www.divadishtalk.com/, ran by Dawn of Memphis, TN, is a celebrity entertainment blog and has recently featured an interview with Antonia (Toya) Carter of BET's hit reality series "Tiny & Toya". Follow @DivaDishTalk on twitter.
http://www.butilovememore.com/, an inspirational life changing blog written by author, motivational speaker and Canadian native Nova Browning Rutherford, out of Los Angeles. Features life experiences and motivational stories. @butilovememore
http://www.embraceurlife.blogspot.com/, on www.BlogTalkRadio.com/embraceliferadio, is a weekly radio show (Wednesday's @ 8p) that impacts and empowers peers ages 19-34 hosted by Tiffani Walker out of Chicago, IL. follow @embraceurlife on twitter.
Her Shoe Fetish, a Tupelo, MS shoe store female owned and operated , check http://www.her-fetish.com/. follow @mzhershoefetish
Here are a few women I follow on Twitter that I have high hopes for and their brand!
@queenrosa has a cookbook you can purchase on http://www.divadishes.com/ and also get free recipes to seduce the love in your life.
@minxhouston the first Medical Nail Technician, offering the hottest nail couture to date, clientelle consists of Mya, Keri Hilson, Trina and LeToya Luckett.
@empressmag, an internet magazine that caters to the lifestyle of the inner empresses. I also contribute monthly to http://www.empressmag.com/.
@orig_glamazon write under the blog http://www.theglamchronicles.blogspot.com/, a highly intelligent woman who talks about everything from life, love and politics.
@caresslepore is a fashion blogger out of the ATL, that bases her themes on Disney movies and fashion icons. http://www.dafashionist.onsugar.com/
@luxurymoondust, whom I have come to love on twitter, a very candid and witty blogger on http://www.fcktheword.blogspot.com/
@whymelawd an awesome writer who's office stories are hilarious, yet true. http://www.happyaboutthis.com/
@marikai, who serves as VP to the Straight Girls for Amber Rose movement, http://www.black-american-princess-interrupted.blogspot.com/.
If you are not already, please follow these lovely ladies!! There is a little something out there for all of us!! And despite the issues with BTR on Sunday, I can not wait for the next broadcast!!
You are all officially Ladies of Complex!!!
-If I missed your link, please post it in the comment section or send me an email so you can get a free feature on my next BTR show!!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
You'll Get More Bee's With Honey
What is so hard about about speaking honestly to someone, in this case, who is not officially "yours"? Say you are just casual or maybe even dating, but the thought of sex is definitely in the air. You are not obligated to this person, so why lie? Most of my experience is that men believe that if you don't ask him a specific question or a question at all, if they don't tell you, they are not lying. Peep the scenario:
Me: You have a girlfriend?
He: No.
Me: Are you dating anyone.
He: You.
This would seem to be a straight to the point convo, right? Uh uh. He failed to say that he was trying things out with a past "light switch" ex. Or that he was engaged, or married, or dating someone other than you. But since you didnt ask the specific "Are you married?" or another detailed question, he didn't answer accordingly. "They are only answering the questions you asked." BSTFUH. What part of the game is that? An honest man is a rare commodity, and many women may find your candid truth attractive. And ladies, you really wanna know how he feels? Truth Serum is a biatch.
In my opinion, we would be more willing to have sex with someone who we had trust in, despite a situation. Being lied to is being mislead. If you lied to me about where you ate dinner, who's to say you haven't lied to me about your who you slanging "d" to on a regular? Give me the opportunity to decide if I want to further the relationship after you told me the truth. After all, it is you in the wrong.
In my opinion, we would be more willing to have sex with someone who we had trust in, despite a situation. Being lied to is being mislead. If you lied to me about where you ate dinner, who's to say you haven't lied to me about your who you slanging "d" to on a regular? Give me the opportunity to decide if I want to further the relationship after you told me the truth. After all, it is you in the wrong.
By the way, there is no vice-versa on this subject for men, y'all are willing to beat our back in even when we are lying to you.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Conquering All Fears
As I conquer the smaller goals I have placed, I think of the future I could have. In order to be more successful, I have to conquer my fears as well. As we all know, one of my huge fears, or as I like to call it, my anchor, is being social. With the help of my dear friend Terry Thierry, I am on a "Social Mission". In order to find my place in the blogosphere, I must find my place in an off-the-internet type social setting. Yes, Lady Complex will be live and in the flesh.
For those who know me personally, I am far from shy and knowing me is loving me. I've been told there is no "grey area", nor is their a "hate area". Sounds so beautiful, but that's when the anchor holds me down. I am not initially personable, to anyone. I am approachable, but not the approaching one. I believe I come off controlling and dominating due to my strong personality and some people dont take well to that type of approach. In a normal social setting, if no one initiates a conversation with me, we'll be sitting there silent. I am cordial and acknowledge all who is around me, but that's my limit. For so long, I just summed it all up to some people have it (personality) and some people don't. But that's not all true. I have it, I just don't want to use it. Or let's now say, I didn't want to use it- in the past.
What does this mean? Me, blooming into a social butterfly, stepping out on life and on faith, and letting my guard down. I am excited, I mean, I want to meet new people. And yes, I am ready to meet new people. I've been living in Houston for 4 years now, I should've meet more people than I have. I no longer want to be skeptical of people and possible motives, cause frankly, I don't want anyone to be skeptical of me. I just wanna live and be LIVE! For what was holding me down for so long, hopefully will be no more.
When I began the site, I set small goals so I dont aim for much to only fail, successfully. So far, so wonderful. Which is why I take so much pride into my work. I only want to write about things that are true to me and what I believe. Although some may not agree, but I wanted to create a space for those who can agree to disagree. As for those who will call their followers fans, I'd rather treat mine with more respect to call them "supporters". Is there a difference? To me, yes. But, dont ask me to explain, it only makes sense to me. *wink*
Just when I think I can't take anymore and I feel the need for a spontaneous vacay from civilization, I recieve an email, text or tweet from one of my supporters who tell me how much they appreciate my writing. Then some mornings, I'll recieve an email from a website/ blog offering me a guest entry on their site. It's a complete accomplishment to feel needed in what some may call life. If I want sh** done the way I want it done, I need to get to talking. I can imagine the limitless opportunities I can recieve if I just open up.
Let me honor my calling by conquering this fear and retract my anchor.
For those who know me personally, I am far from shy and knowing me is loving me. I've been told there is no "grey area", nor is their a "hate area". Sounds so beautiful, but that's when the anchor holds me down. I am not initially personable, to anyone. I am approachable, but not the approaching one. I believe I come off controlling and dominating due to my strong personality and some people dont take well to that type of approach. In a normal social setting, if no one initiates a conversation with me, we'll be sitting there silent. I am cordial and acknowledge all who is around me, but that's my limit. For so long, I just summed it all up to some people have it (personality) and some people don't. But that's not all true. I have it, I just don't want to use it. Or let's now say, I didn't want to use it- in the past.
What does this mean? Me, blooming into a social butterfly, stepping out on life and on faith, and letting my guard down. I am excited, I mean, I want to meet new people. And yes, I am ready to meet new people. I've been living in Houston for 4 years now, I should've meet more people than I have. I no longer want to be skeptical of people and possible motives, cause frankly, I don't want anyone to be skeptical of me. I just wanna live and be LIVE! For what was holding me down for so long, hopefully will be no more.
When I began the site, I set small goals so I dont aim for much to only fail, successfully. So far, so wonderful. Which is why I take so much pride into my work. I only want to write about things that are true to me and what I believe. Although some may not agree, but I wanted to create a space for those who can agree to disagree. As for those who will call their followers fans, I'd rather treat mine with more respect to call them "supporters". Is there a difference? To me, yes. But, dont ask me to explain, it only makes sense to me. *wink*
Just when I think I can't take anymore and I feel the need for a spontaneous vacay from civilization, I recieve an email, text or tweet from one of my supporters who tell me how much they appreciate my writing. Then some mornings, I'll recieve an email from a website/ blog offering me a guest entry on their site. It's a complete accomplishment to feel needed in what some may call life. If I want sh** done the way I want it done, I need to get to talking. I can imagine the limitless opportunities I can recieve if I just open up.
Let me honor my calling by conquering this fear and retract my anchor.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Dating the Married: What You Would've Heard on BTR
Unfortunately, BTR shitted on my life had some technical difficulties with my debut show of Lady Complex Radio and I had to continue on TinyChat, which resulted in another dump on my life more technical difficulties, I ultimately had to take my concept here to MyLadyComplex.com. I will have my sh** together next Sunday, so you do the same. There was many people I had wished to get on the show, with many different views onthis specific topic. Thanks so much for the support guys.
If you check the stats above, you can see that there was a small percentage that said "yes" they would date someone who was married, and a smaller percentage that said they would depending on where ther marriage stands. Which, technically, is a YES. Believe it or not, there are women and men (yes, men) who exclusively only date the married. It's a harsh reality to the many spouses who live faithfully and committed to God and their spouses, while their significant others sh** on their vows. All in all, it's aldultery and it is a sin. But on who's account? The one who is married? Should the mistress (man or woman) be accountable? Or both?
However, to judge people on how they chose to live is stupid. Judge the sin and not the sinner. The choice of a lifestyle, per-say, is that individuals. Some tend to draw an invisible or erasable line on what is defined as a sin more-so to fit into our personal lives. For instance, calling someone a "homewrecker", while you're in a hotel engaging in premarital sex. It's a sin, too, boo. Granted that it seems like I am siding with the adulterous whores, I'm merely speaking on right and wrong on what's right-er and wrong-er ((c)Brooklyn's Finest).
I will never say that dating someone who is married isn't wrong, however I can't blame someone for being in love. I am not talking about jump-offs or just sleeping around, I am talking about serious relationships and falling in love with those who are married. You may not believe, but there is a difference. I, too, have been involved in said relationship. I didn't prey upon him or have a hidden agenda to try to end what he had at home. From what I know, the home was foreclosed long before me- so there goes my homewrecking status. I went in knowing before it began what I was dealing with and what could've come out of it. I have no regrets, for I have found an awesome man and friend through it all. As for that bad b**** Karma, I aint worried. If my spouse or boyfriend were to cheat, its not my bad Karma coming to ruin my life, it's his lying, whoring, and greedy ass.
I am definitely not ashamed of anything I have done in my life. There is no need to hide the mistakes or the risks I have taken to be in love. I know I'll probably recieve some dirty backlash, and some of you may not like me after this, I still wish you well. Love me or leave me alone. Just leave your comments you woulda left on the show. Be careful who you judge, you may end up in the same position.
If you check the stats above, you can see that there was a small percentage that said "yes" they would date someone who was married, and a smaller percentage that said they would depending on where ther marriage stands. Which, technically, is a YES. Believe it or not, there are women and men (yes, men) who exclusively only date the married. It's a harsh reality to the many spouses who live faithfully and committed to God and their spouses, while their significant others sh** on their vows. All in all, it's aldultery and it is a sin. But on who's account? The one who is married? Should the mistress (man or woman) be accountable? Or both?
However, to judge people on how they chose to live is stupid. Judge the sin and not the sinner. The choice of a lifestyle, per-say, is that individuals. Some tend to draw an invisible or erasable line on what is defined as a sin more-so to fit into our personal lives. For instance, calling someone a "homewrecker", while you're in a hotel engaging in premarital sex. It's a sin, too, boo. Granted that it seems like I am siding with the adulterous whores, I'm merely speaking on right and wrong on what's right-er and wrong-er ((c)Brooklyn's Finest).
I will never say that dating someone who is married isn't wrong, however I can't blame someone for being in love. I am not talking about jump-offs or just sleeping around, I am talking about serious relationships and falling in love with those who are married. You may not believe, but there is a difference. I, too, have been involved in said relationship. I didn't prey upon him or have a hidden agenda to try to end what he had at home. From what I know, the home was foreclosed long before me- so there goes my homewrecking status. I went in knowing before it began what I was dealing with and what could've come out of it. I have no regrets, for I have found an awesome man and friend through it all. As for that bad b**** Karma, I aint worried. If my spouse or boyfriend were to cheat, its not my bad Karma coming to ruin my life, it's his lying, whoring, and greedy ass.
I am definitely not ashamed of anything I have done in my life. There is no need to hide the mistakes or the risks I have taken to be in love. I know I'll probably recieve some dirty backlash, and some of you may not like me after this, I still wish you well. Love me or leave me alone. Just leave your comments you woulda left on the show. Be careful who you judge, you may end up in the same position.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
Divine Confirmations
Throughout my entire life, I always felt like I had some sort of spritual connection to the after life. I am not clear why and how I actually feel when it hits me, but it's almost like a breath of fresh air when I do connect. My dreams are filled with my loved ones who have passed, where they are always healthy, but for some reason they never speak. Almost as they are just looking out for me, guiding me on a path.
It first started the day after my grandfather passed. You know those dreams where they are like reality? Where I fell asleep, is where I woke up that he was walking through the door. He passed me a yellow post-it note that said "I'm sorry." Once I read it, I woke up trying to tell my family he was alive. But I quickly realized I was just dreaming. Since then, I have always felt like he was watching over me, but never near me. Two days after I moved to Charlotte, NC, I crawled into bed, laid on my stomach and pulled the cover over half of my face. I heard footsteps coming closer towards me and an overwhelming cold wind came over me, whatever it was, it wouldn't let me turn around. As it came over me, I felt a sense of peace, like whoever this was, was only making sure I was okay. As the cold air went away, so did the footsteps. I called my mom to share my experience. I told her that for some reason I felt like it was grandpa. She reminded me it could be, I was his favorite that and that he probably didn't want to scare me. Funny because during my mom's illness and closer to her passing, she always said her father was watching her. He would never say anything, he was just standing there, on her left side. When she passed, her head was tilted to the left, where a picture of her dad had been for 8 years, looking at him. After that day, I never seen my grandpa or felt him near me. It's been her. I see her in my dreams all the time. Here and there, I'll find a card, or a picture or an item of sentiment that reminds me of her.
This past Saturday, I was driving home when Boyz II Men "Mama" came on the radio. I proceeded to dial her cell number. When I looked at my phone and it read "Mom Cell", I immediately hung up. Clearly, I had an out-of-body and mind experience. I couldn't contain myself. I cried all night. I begged for her to visit me in my dreams. She never came. Until this morning at work. My coworker was cleaning out an old desk and brought us a stack of folders and paperwork to go through and make sure it was nothing important. As we skimmed through the documents, I found this:
It first started the day after my grandfather passed. You know those dreams where they are like reality? Where I fell asleep, is where I woke up that he was walking through the door. He passed me a yellow post-it note that said "I'm sorry." Once I read it, I woke up trying to tell my family he was alive. But I quickly realized I was just dreaming. Since then, I have always felt like he was watching over me, but never near me. Two days after I moved to Charlotte, NC, I crawled into bed, laid on my stomach and pulled the cover over half of my face. I heard footsteps coming closer towards me and an overwhelming cold wind came over me, whatever it was, it wouldn't let me turn around. As it came over me, I felt a sense of peace, like whoever this was, was only making sure I was okay. As the cold air went away, so did the footsteps. I called my mom to share my experience. I told her that for some reason I felt like it was grandpa. She reminded me it could be, I was his favorite that and that he probably didn't want to scare me. Funny because during my mom's illness and closer to her passing, she always said her father was watching her. He would never say anything, he was just standing there, on her left side. When she passed, her head was tilted to the left, where a picture of her dad had been for 8 years, looking at him. After that day, I never seen my grandpa or felt him near me. It's been her. I see her in my dreams all the time. Here and there, I'll find a card, or a picture or an item of sentiment that reminds me of her.
This past Saturday, I was driving home when Boyz II Men "Mama" came on the radio. I proceeded to dial her cell number. When I looked at my phone and it read "Mom Cell", I immediately hung up. Clearly, I had an out-of-body and mind experience. I couldn't contain myself. I cried all night. I begged for her to visit me in my dreams. She never came. Until this morning at work. My coworker was cleaning out an old desk and brought us a stack of folders and paperwork to go through and make sure it was nothing important. As we skimmed through the documents, I found this:
This is what I call a divine confirmation.
She faxed this to me on 12/13/2005. How amazing?
She answered.
Complex Back Track: Security
I think I am going to take my time to dedicate this post to all the women in the world. This topic is soley a part of our daily lives single, married, divorced, separated, lesbian or whatever. Golddigging vs Security.
Well, in my world. I like to brandish my type as looking for security. I have my own job, my own place, car, etc etc. I am 25 and single with no kids. Thats pretty damn good. I clear a sizeable and comfortable income along with a sturdy savings to care for myself and I live within my own means. So what's wrong with looking for a man to help stabilize my life? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Some like to think its Golddigging. That word make my ears hurt everytime I hear it. Especially when its referring to a woman who already had her own. I mean, why would I want a man that can only do what I can do or maybe even less? Sure two incomes or better than one, but these days ego and pride becomes a bigger "breakup" factor than anything now. I am ol' skool and believe that a man is the breadwinner in a relationship/ marriage. Be it he makes thousands more or just a couple hundred. Thats how its suppose to be in my mind. Thats how I was raised.
Now, I do believe that there are Golddiggers out there. WOOOWEE. Yes there is. These women look thirsty. Not just with their fashions, but with their confidence levels. They portray a lifestyle that they do not live. They look for men, only ballers tickle their fancy. They honestly dont care about having any kind of relationship with a man, they just wanna spend money or shit some even only wanna be seen. Most are looking for the athletes and music artists. No more dopedealers. That was so 10 years ago. They go to any and every extreme to attend all events and travel across the states to try and catch the eye of a paid man. Their only concern in life is what they are going to buy with the money they got and who's next in line.
Sure, we beautiful women deserve the man of our dreams. Some of us have them, some of us dont. Some of us feel like we are the women of their dreams. I have had my share of "ballers". Honestly some give, some dont. Some of the one's who give, give generously. The others, well, eh.
Dont get me wrong, I am for the fun and shopping and sharing with the girlfriends and dating and doing whatever the hell you want. But when its time to get serious, no more games. There are men out there, looking for the same exact qualities as you. He wants to share all of himself and his possessions with you. No questions asked. He is looking forward to that. He too wants a woman holding it down on her own and if push comes to shove and he hits rock bottom you can take care until he gets back up. Not someone that when all the money is gone, the clubbing and the being seen stops...will pack up and leave.
And what's so wrong with a man who can just pay his bills and help contribute to the ones you accumulate together? I mean, he's not asking you for anything that you weren't doing before him, right?
Your thoughts, please?
Well, in my world. I like to brandish my type as looking for security. I have my own job, my own place, car, etc etc. I am 25 and single with no kids. Thats pretty damn good. I clear a sizeable and comfortable income along with a sturdy savings to care for myself and I live within my own means. So what's wrong with looking for a man to help stabilize my life? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Some like to think its Golddigging. That word make my ears hurt everytime I hear it. Especially when its referring to a woman who already had her own. I mean, why would I want a man that can only do what I can do or maybe even less? Sure two incomes or better than one, but these days ego and pride becomes a bigger "breakup" factor than anything now. I am ol' skool and believe that a man is the breadwinner in a relationship/ marriage. Be it he makes thousands more or just a couple hundred. Thats how its suppose to be in my mind. Thats how I was raised.
Now, I do believe that there are Golddiggers out there. WOOOWEE. Yes there is. These women look thirsty. Not just with their fashions, but with their confidence levels. They portray a lifestyle that they do not live. They look for men, only ballers tickle their fancy. They honestly dont care about having any kind of relationship with a man, they just wanna spend money or shit some even only wanna be seen. Most are looking for the athletes and music artists. No more dopedealers. That was so 10 years ago. They go to any and every extreme to attend all events and travel across the states to try and catch the eye of a paid man. Their only concern in life is what they are going to buy with the money they got and who's next in line.
Sure, we beautiful women deserve the man of our dreams. Some of us have them, some of us dont. Some of us feel like we are the women of their dreams. I have had my share of "ballers". Honestly some give, some dont. Some of the one's who give, give generously. The others, well, eh.
Dont get me wrong, I am for the fun and shopping and sharing with the girlfriends and dating and doing whatever the hell you want. But when its time to get serious, no more games. There are men out there, looking for the same exact qualities as you. He wants to share all of himself and his possessions with you. No questions asked. He is looking forward to that. He too wants a woman holding it down on her own and if push comes to shove and he hits rock bottom you can take care until he gets back up. Not someone that when all the money is gone, the clubbing and the being seen stops...will pack up and leave.
And what's so wrong with a man who can just pay his bills and help contribute to the ones you accumulate together? I mean, he's not asking you for anything that you weren't doing before him, right?
Your thoughts, please?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Poll: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of Dating the Married
Too many times we hear one side of an adultrous love triangle (or square, depending how you get down) and the mistress/ manwhore is labeled as such and sometimes worse. Here at MyLadyComplex.com, we are in the No Judgement Zone: You don't judge me, I won't judge you. We like for you to be comfortable in whatever flaws (if you may call them that) you have. No one is perfect and Jesus hasn't apointed a Saint in years.
These questions will be featured on my first blog talk radio on March 6th, 2010, where we will discuss openly about different topics regarding this situation. I would like extend an invitation to the men and women who have been involved in said trysts. Whether you have been the wife or husband who has been cheated on or who has cheated, or the other man or woman or that you are completely against it. You may be totally discreet with your anonymity or if you're a bold one, let it out! If you would like to participate, you may email me at myladycomplex@yahoo.com or click the Kontactr button to your right. Please remember if you would like to join, you must be open to receive some criticism.
Please answer the questions honestly, for it is anonymous. Not to mention, if you lie, I will be emailed. iKid, iKid. But really, no one likes a whore or a liar. Take that back, everyone LOVES a whore. The polls will be closed within a week. ;o)
These questions will be featured on my first blog talk radio on March 6th, 2010, where we will discuss openly about different topics regarding this situation. I would like extend an invitation to the men and women who have been involved in said trysts. Whether you have been the wife or husband who has been cheated on or who has cheated, or the other man or woman or that you are completely against it. You may be totally discreet with your anonymity or if you're a bold one, let it out! If you would like to participate, you may email me at myladycomplex@yahoo.com or click the Kontactr button to your right. Please remember if you would like to join, you must be open to receive some criticism.
Please answer the questions honestly, for it is anonymous. Not to mention, if you lie, I will be emailed. iKid, iKid. But really, no one likes a whore or a liar. Take that back, everyone LOVES a whore. The polls will be closed within a week. ;o)
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
No Hope for Hip Hop? A Consumers Opinion
I don’t particularly care to write about hip hop in general, only for the fact that I don’t particularly care for it anymore these days. I did write this order for an independent magazine, and unfortunately the email I was “sent” never reached my inbox. –Blank stare- But it’s all good. *Cues UGKs “Keep on Pushin’”*
I bring on this question to express my own opinion. IMO= my truth. However, I am biased when it comes to this subject. I am known to be a harsh critic for today’s music, some would ask, “Who is she to give her opinion?” My answer to that is I am the consumer who purchases your work, which purchases all your bling, cars, bottle service, weave and lace front wigs. When I dish it out, no one’s excluded. Please don’t ignore me.
I'm from Louisiana, where the raunchiest of the raunchiest music comes from. I grew up on Magnolia Shorty, the Original Cash Money, Mystical, No Limit, and X-MOB. I have been hearing about money, cars, clothes, and hoes my whole life so what’s new? Well, nothing really, just a little bit more boldness coming from more male and female hip hop artists. This is particularly why I don’t listen too much of today’s artists. They are either talking about “raw dawgin’ a hoe”, “hittin’ a hoe”, or “being a 5 star bitch”. Don’t get me wrong, these tunes make for fun times in a club setting on a drunken night, but why would I want to purchase your album when I can barely understand your gibberish in my ride? Great singles but whack albums. I am all for talking major trash and having a great time with ridiculous dances and antics, I also need substance. Give me a little something to make me think and dream BIGGER. When my hangover is gone and I need to listen to knowledge, I have to revert back to Scarface circa 1999 “The Fix”. Now That’s What I Call Music. No woman needs to dream (in reality) for a man with a huge -err wallet, which has the fattest ass or the finest Louis Vuitton bag. The “independent” façade is cute, also not real. You’re really just pointing out how well you can spend your money while in the same breath asking for a man with more than you. Umm, if you can do all this and fry fish at the same time, whatchu need him for? Oh, you want more, which is when you start falling into the ever-so-susceptible “Gold Digger” category. You mad? You shouldn’t be. While the ladies are getting there booty shots and weave glued in, the men are raw dawgin’ their home girls. Why are we letting everyone know (on wax) that we are trying to contract a disease? Since when has that been okay? It is not healthy. All the duffle bag dollars can’t cure that shit. The artists shouldn’t take full blame, the record execs are responsible for half. Now That’s What I Call Not Music.
I admire those with the hustlers ambition, however that doesn't mean I admire their music. Like Nicki Minaj, chick is building her brand. It may not be "hers" persay, but she is making it her own. She has someone that believed in her and they make it work. Her flow is dope, but the rhymes are typical and basic. Recently, she claimed she was Bipolar and thats why her flow was the way it is (that explains a lot), but I can't help but wonder if this was self-diagnosed. -shrugs- It's not just her, it's also the one-hit-wonders with all these different dances. If they knew better, they could definitely make a career out of creating songs with silly Sambo-like dances. (I do them, too) Ask DJ Jubilee, he is the best that ever did it.
By no means am I getting all “Maxine Waters” on yall asses, just simply trying to be a good taxpayer and stimulate the drowning economy. We can call this a “subliminal message”, so name dropping is extremely unnecessary. You may say it doesn’t matter who I am, but it does. I am a prospective fan. My opinions should matter and so should everyone elses. Without the fans, you wouldn’t have anything. While being in the beginning stages of my writing, I am definitely open to criticism. I want the support of others, otherwise what would be the point of me writing? It’s like talking to a brick wall. So, instead of gaining respect from our materialistic possessions, let’s gain respect for having respect for your fans opinions. Let’s not talk about how raw we are when we can’t digest someone’s raw opinion.
I bring on this question to express my own opinion. IMO= my truth. However, I am biased when it comes to this subject. I am known to be a harsh critic for today’s music, some would ask, “Who is she to give her opinion?” My answer to that is I am the consumer who purchases your work, which purchases all your bling, cars, bottle service, weave and lace front wigs. When I dish it out, no one’s excluded. Please don’t ignore me.
I'm from Louisiana, where the raunchiest of the raunchiest music comes from. I grew up on Magnolia Shorty, the Original Cash Money, Mystical, No Limit, and X-MOB. I have been hearing about money, cars, clothes, and hoes my whole life so what’s new? Well, nothing really, just a little bit more boldness coming from more male and female hip hop artists. This is particularly why I don’t listen too much of today’s artists. They are either talking about “raw dawgin’ a hoe”, “hittin’ a hoe”, or “being a 5 star bitch”. Don’t get me wrong, these tunes make for fun times in a club setting on a drunken night, but why would I want to purchase your album when I can barely understand your gibberish in my ride? Great singles but whack albums. I am all for talking major trash and having a great time with ridiculous dances and antics, I also need substance. Give me a little something to make me think and dream BIGGER. When my hangover is gone and I need to listen to knowledge, I have to revert back to Scarface circa 1999 “The Fix”. Now That’s What I Call Music. No woman needs to dream (in reality) for a man with a huge -err wallet, which has the fattest ass or the finest Louis Vuitton bag. The “independent” façade is cute, also not real. You’re really just pointing out how well you can spend your money while in the same breath asking for a man with more than you. Umm, if you can do all this and fry fish at the same time, whatchu need him for? Oh, you want more, which is when you start falling into the ever-so-susceptible “Gold Digger” category. You mad? You shouldn’t be. While the ladies are getting there booty shots and weave glued in, the men are raw dawgin’ their home girls. Why are we letting everyone know (on wax) that we are trying to contract a disease? Since when has that been okay? It is not healthy. All the duffle bag dollars can’t cure that shit. The artists shouldn’t take full blame, the record execs are responsible for half. Now That’s What I Call Not Music.
I admire those with the hustlers ambition, however that doesn't mean I admire their music. Like Nicki Minaj, chick is building her brand. It may not be "hers" persay, but she is making it her own. She has someone that believed in her and they make it work. Her flow is dope, but the rhymes are typical and basic. Recently, she claimed she was Bipolar and thats why her flow was the way it is (that explains a lot), but I can't help but wonder if this was self-diagnosed. -shrugs- It's not just her, it's also the one-hit-wonders with all these different dances. If they knew better, they could definitely make a career out of creating songs with silly Sambo-like dances. (I do them, too) Ask DJ Jubilee, he is the best that ever did it.
By no means am I getting all “Maxine Waters” on yall asses, just simply trying to be a good taxpayer and stimulate the drowning economy. We can call this a “subliminal message”, so name dropping is extremely unnecessary. You may say it doesn’t matter who I am, but it does. I am a prospective fan. My opinions should matter and so should everyone elses. Without the fans, you wouldn’t have anything. While being in the beginning stages of my writing, I am definitely open to criticism. I want the support of others, otherwise what would be the point of me writing? It’s like talking to a brick wall. So, instead of gaining respect from our materialistic possessions, let’s gain respect for having respect for your fans opinions. Let’s not talk about how raw we are when we can’t digest someone’s raw opinion.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
LifeStyle 101
"When will women stop letting men dictate the way they chose to live?"
This is a question I ask myself everyday. The answer in general is probably never. Lifestyle, in my opinion, is however you chose to live you life. It could be if you want to see women, men, or both, have a group of friends that are tasteless, who you want to sleep with, classifying you as a heaux from how many you dated, if you are over weight or underweight, beautiful or ugly. Who is anyone to tell you who you are and you accept it? Some females have the nerve to get upset when a man approaches them with this. They even let this foolishness shift the way they feel. It's called confidence people. Love me or leave me alone.
There are things people question about the opposite sex that will never be answered to your liking. Despite what you've heard, all questions are not asked to be answered. When the answer is given, it's their truth. It doesn't have to be yours. Just accept and move on. Not every man will like you, find you attractive, or even agree with everything you have to say. What can you do but live? When I stopped questioning the why's and what's of what a man will do and won't do, I got a man. A damn good one at that. No man will do ever do everything you expect them to as a "man". We don't fall to everything a woman is said to do, why should they? I don't cook, but according to some men, as a "woman" I should. My truth is that doesn't make me less of a woman. I expect my man to take my car get washed, inspected and oiled, he doesn't though. That doesn't make me question his manhood.
Am I saying that majority of women/ men who continuously question the opposite sex may be the reason why they are single? Kind of. See, most women, who in previous relationships, who have been the victim of infidelity have the approach that once a cheater, always a cheater. Not necessarily. They pin the blame on all men, but forget that if they had been the cheater in a relationship, they wouldn't want the same title. I have cheated in my previous and current relationship. I wouldn't consider myself a serial cheater but, I would hate if my partner didn't trust me to say that I would do it again. Being in a relationship with someone who has a past or who is more experienced with the opposite is always questionable, however, people do change and routines change as well. You can change, but why can't he?
Although it may seem as if I am taking the men's side, I am not. I have merely been the guilty and victim of everything spoken about. I will be friends with whomever, I will date anyone I choose, and I will eat, sleep, and sh** on my own time. Maybe I am the only one left who believes in "All is fair in love and war."
This is a question I ask myself everyday. The answer in general is probably never. Lifestyle, in my opinion, is however you chose to live you life. It could be if you want to see women, men, or both, have a group of friends that are tasteless, who you want to sleep with, classifying you as a heaux from how many you dated, if you are over weight or underweight, beautiful or ugly. Who is anyone to tell you who you are and you accept it? Some females have the nerve to get upset when a man approaches them with this. They even let this foolishness shift the way they feel. It's called confidence people. Love me or leave me alone.
There are things people question about the opposite sex that will never be answered to your liking. Despite what you've heard, all questions are not asked to be answered. When the answer is given, it's their truth. It doesn't have to be yours. Just accept and move on. Not every man will like you, find you attractive, or even agree with everything you have to say. What can you do but live? When I stopped questioning the why's and what's of what a man will do and won't do, I got a man. A damn good one at that. No man will do ever do everything you expect them to as a "man". We don't fall to everything a woman is said to do, why should they? I don't cook, but according to some men, as a "woman" I should. My truth is that doesn't make me less of a woman. I expect my man to take my car get washed, inspected and oiled, he doesn't though. That doesn't make me question his manhood.
Am I saying that majority of women/ men who continuously question the opposite sex may be the reason why they are single? Kind of. See, most women, who in previous relationships, who have been the victim of infidelity have the approach that once a cheater, always a cheater. Not necessarily. They pin the blame on all men, but forget that if they had been the cheater in a relationship, they wouldn't want the same title. I have cheated in my previous and current relationship. I wouldn't consider myself a serial cheater but, I would hate if my partner didn't trust me to say that I would do it again. Being in a relationship with someone who has a past or who is more experienced with the opposite is always questionable, however, people do change and routines change as well. You can change, but why can't he?
Although it may seem as if I am taking the men's side, I am not. I have merely been the guilty and victim of everything spoken about. I will be friends with whomever, I will date anyone I choose, and I will eat, sleep, and sh** on my own time. Maybe I am the only one left who believes in "All is fair in love and war."
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Facts About Me
The other night, I decided to compile this list of facts about me. For those who know me personally, these are things you may already know, but for those who follow me on the social networking sites, they may make you -GASP-
Mind you, they are not in any particular order so... Enjoy!
Mind you, they are not in any particular order so... Enjoy!
- I manage money extremely well.
- I am obsessed with my split ends. Don't ever be surprised if you see me picking at them.
- I would leave my boyfriend to be girlfriend to Amber Rose and Nelly Furtado.
- I consider myself to be shallow when it comes to relationships. I go for the physical attraction first.
- But, not that shallow considering my new love is in a wheelchair. =)
- I am in love now, more than ever. This goes for everything and everyone who is positive in my life.
- I am obsessed with "purging" worthless people and things out of my life. Don't be next.
- On Christmas day in 2005, I bust a house window with my bare fist.
- Playing in my hair and rubbing my feet are the quickest ways to get my pannies.
- My childhood dream was to become a Journalist.
- I chose principle over money. Anyday.
- I change clothes atleast 3xs before I actually leave my house to go anywhere.
- The first time I ever cheated, was to only see what the reaction would be.
- I'm not jealous, just over-protective.
- When I love, I love hard and I'll cut you if you hurt me.
- When I was 13, I placed 3rd in state over-all in gymnastics and 1st in state for uneven bars.
- I smell almost everything.
- I make up dances to songs in my head, but when I get home to try them out, it doesn't look so great.
- I once ran my Jeep into a house and left.
- I modeled for Nicole Miller gowns in college. This was actual runway sh**.
- I don't have much rhythm. Which is why #14 doesn't work well.
- While drunk one night, I pissed and vomitted while on all fours on the curb in a parking lot and not a drop of nothing got on my silk dress or Louboutins. Skills.
- Reciprocating is the name of my game. On all ends.
- When I commit heauxshit, it's normally with my significant other.
- I love when sex becomes an exploration of each others bodies.
- I hate walking barefoot, even at home.
- I know about each and every one of my physical flaws.
- I love bleach baths.
- 36C-32-42. That is all.
- I shave my mustache off, like every 2 weeks.
- I have a mohawk. Amen.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Lemme Fix My Hurrrrrr...
I may have tipped a few tea cups over when I mentioned "hair" in my last post, but probably not more than Toure has pissed off his interracial son by washing his hair every-damn-day. Who does thats sh**? Well, my mom did, but she had that wash-n-go hurr. I am sure he doesn't though. iKid, iKid.
Anywho, when I mention hair when referring to skin tone earlier, it may have come as a shock to some. I appreciate everyone's opinion, even those who don't agree, but I have been classed by my texture of hair. As did many women (and men) mostly in the south. Do we not remember the tale of the "Comb Test"? I have been hit with the ever-so ignant "How you black, but you got white people hair?" Girl, what? What part of the game is that? It's a known fact (in my world) that people will try to class you by the texture of your hair. If you are light bright with straight, soft hair then you must be mixed. If you're dark with soft hair, you must be mixed- Somewhere down the line.
Some also feel that if you have a certain texture of hair, you do not need weave or a perm and vice versa. False. I get perms twice a year, it may not be often as others, but this kinky shit has taken many years to tame. They also think that I don't or shouldn't I have a bad hair day. WTF? I have just as many problems as you. "I would love to have your hair." Trust me, you wouldn't. You can't get your hair done in the summer because you sweat way to much, you can't in the spring because it rains too much and humidity is like cryptonite, fall is windy and you can never "hold" a style, and winter, well that's just one season you may be able to get a roller set and it may last for like a week. Forget having a frizz free night at the local sweat box some call the club. Better tote a scrunchi 'round yo' wrist. Doesn't that sound familiar?
My hair's demise may have been in 1992 when I was digging thru my grandmother's closet and found a "Party Perm". Chile, I had every perm rod in place. (That box of perm had to be like 12 years old) By the time they got those rollers out of my head, Iooked like Fraggle Rock. My momo took her time trying to get that mess to "lie down". It took a good 6 years and many, many Just for Me's. Even at my age, I still need help trying to get this to lay it DOWN. You see me, you see a ponytail, a white girl funky bun, two platts (french braids), and maybe on a good day, a nice roller set or flat iron.
There are awesome hair care lines out there. My fave is KeraCare and the Henna and Placenta conditioners. No matter what texture your hair is, it's beautiful. Tame that sh**!!
Anywho, when I mention hair when referring to skin tone earlier, it may have come as a shock to some. I appreciate everyone's opinion, even those who don't agree, but I have been classed by my texture of hair. As did many women (and men) mostly in the south. Do we not remember the tale of the "Comb Test"? I have been hit with the ever-so ignant "How you black, but you got white people hair?" Girl, what? What part of the game is that? It's a known fact (in my world) that people will try to class you by the texture of your hair. If you are light bright with straight, soft hair then you must be mixed. If you're dark with soft hair, you must be mixed- Somewhere down the line.
Some also feel that if you have a certain texture of hair, you do not need weave or a perm and vice versa. False. I get perms twice a year, it may not be often as others, but this kinky shit has taken many years to tame. They also think that I don't or shouldn't I have a bad hair day. WTF? I have just as many problems as you. "I would love to have your hair." Trust me, you wouldn't. You can't get your hair done in the summer because you sweat way to much, you can't in the spring because it rains too much and humidity is like cryptonite, fall is windy and you can never "hold" a style, and winter, well that's just one season you may be able to get a roller set and it may last for like a week. Forget having a frizz free night at the local sweat box some call the club. Better tote a scrunchi 'round yo' wrist. Doesn't that sound familiar?
My hair's demise may have been in 1992 when I was digging thru my grandmother's closet and found a "Party Perm". Chile, I had every perm rod in place. (That box of perm had to be like 12 years old) By the time they got those rollers out of my head, Iooked like Fraggle Rock. My momo took her time trying to get that mess to "lie down". It took a good 6 years and many, many Just for Me's. Even at my age, I still need help trying to get this to lay it DOWN. You see me, you see a ponytail, a white girl funky bun, two platts (french braids), and maybe on a good day, a nice roller set or flat iron.
There are awesome hair care lines out there. My fave is KeraCare and the Henna and Placenta conditioners. No matter what texture your hair is, it's beautiful. Tame that sh**!!
Pot Callin' the Kettle Black, or High Yellow
Over the weekend, I woke up lurking thru the Devil's Playground (Twitter) and there was a plethora of complaining bee-ah-ches regarding Wale's new vid "Pretty Girls". The problem was, so they say, was that there was no dark skin women in the video. Only light skin/light bright/messicans. Mind you, these are the same people who use MTO as a source of world headline news.
Maybe I could understand the complaints...if I were still living on Massah's Plantation. And no, I am not taking sides because I am light skin. Truth is, we are so prejudiced against our own race, we could never win for nothing. It wasn't a problem when Trey Songz placed a dark skin with "natural hair" for his vid "Invented Sex", so why now? Oh, is it because "you" weren't featured? As for the "natural" hair, my hair is naturally wavy, so I guess because I have a better grade of hair than some, it's not natural? Cause from what I was told, there was a bit of everyone in it, even big ladies. On another note, why dont you see big ladies complain about not being featured in videos. And why are we even complaining about being in a damn music video? Is this what we have to look up to now?
My problem is that this dark vs. light skin shoulda been gone since Skool Daze. It's more ridiculous that we do not accept other skin tones in our race until we are questioned by another. "Why are you so dark and she's so light?" asked by the ignorant (insert race) male/ female. Our answer would be, if not worse, "Honey, we come in all different shades. That's what's so beautiful about being black." BSTFUH. You wanna say that now, but when it comes to being "chose",you have a major issue. "He only chose her cause she bright/dark." This particular subject brings me back to personal preference. Who someone chooses to want, in the least, is their choice. And most of the time when it comes to videos/movies, etc, it's the directors or producers choice.
Both sides go at each other. Anytime we get mad, we always include color of skin followed by a quick b****. Don't worry other races people do it to, except they'd rather call you out by your class "Coon-ass b****", "Trailer-Trash" or "Wet Back". Do you know how many times I have been called out "High Yellow, hoe"? I can't even count. But the moment I throw a "Dark/ Choclate/ Charcoal" in front of that, I am wrong. I don't like to be called out by my skin tone just as much as you. Instead of using someone's background or wealth as classification, we are separated by our skin tones. That's the same mess they did on the plantation, Massah. What are you going to say when the government decides to do it again? (History does repeat itself, ya know)
If our race can possess such beauty in variations of colors, why do we have to do this? We set ourselves up for failure everytime, which is why so many other races feel as though they can use this termanology the same.
Maybe I could understand the complaints...if I were still living on Massah's Plantation. And no, I am not taking sides because I am light skin. Truth is, we are so prejudiced against our own race, we could never win for nothing. It wasn't a problem when Trey Songz placed a dark skin with "natural hair" for his vid "Invented Sex", so why now? Oh, is it because "you" weren't featured? As for the "natural" hair, my hair is naturally wavy, so I guess because I have a better grade of hair than some, it's not natural? Cause from what I was told, there was a bit of everyone in it, even big ladies. On another note, why dont you see big ladies complain about not being featured in videos. And why are we even complaining about being in a damn music video? Is this what we have to look up to now?
My problem is that this dark vs. light skin shoulda been gone since Skool Daze. It's more ridiculous that we do not accept other skin tones in our race until we are questioned by another. "Why are you so dark and she's so light?" asked by the ignorant (insert race) male/ female. Our answer would be, if not worse, "Honey, we come in all different shades. That's what's so beautiful about being black." BSTFUH. You wanna say that now, but when it comes to being "chose",you have a major issue. "He only chose her cause she bright/dark." This particular subject brings me back to personal preference. Who someone chooses to want, in the least, is their choice. And most of the time when it comes to videos/movies, etc, it's the directors or producers choice.
Both sides go at each other. Anytime we get mad, we always include color of skin followed by a quick b****. Don't worry other races people do it to, except they'd rather call you out by your class "Coon-ass b****", "Trailer-Trash" or "Wet Back". Do you know how many times I have been called out "High Yellow, hoe"? I can't even count. But the moment I throw a "Dark/ Choclate/ Charcoal" in front of that, I am wrong. I don't like to be called out by my skin tone just as much as you. Instead of using someone's background or wealth as classification, we are separated by our skin tones. That's the same mess they did on the plantation, Massah. What are you going to say when the government decides to do it again? (History does repeat itself, ya know)
If our race can possess such beauty in variations of colors, why do we have to do this? We set ourselves up for failure everytime, which is why so many other races feel as though they can use this termanology the same.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Daddy's Home
Last night, I was greeted with the presence of my ever-so inebriated father at my doorstep. For what was suppose to be a pleasant one night visit, quickly turned into hell within the first 10 seconds of seeing him. Before we even spoke a word to each other, I seen him fall on a parked truck. It's never any different, however, this is not what I am unhappy about.
My father has been an alcoholic for what I can recall 35 years. Probably starting before he was of the legal age until this day. Ultimately, it got worse when my mother was sick and passed in 2008. Many of my family members use her death as a crutch, better yet excuse, to do the things they do. This sickens me because it's almost like they are blaming her for dying, which she had no control over. In the last year or so, my dad has been in and out of the hospital with pancreatitis, fluid on the lungs, and after suffering a stroke, he now has an aneurysm on his brain. But, he still insists on drinking until he can't see straight and abusing the people that genuinely care for him, forcing them to stay away from him.
What I am so unhappy about is that at 25 years old, I still have to endure his alcohol and abuse. I've never been so vocal about my family issues until now because I know there are more people who have gone through or is going through the same issues that could possibly benefit from me. If you follow me on twitter, you probably have seen me tweet about my father being a substance abuser my entire life. I feel bad that I have to separate myself from him because I am his daughter and I should be there, but I can't. Not if I want to succeed.
You would think that after losing someone so close and someone that you love dearly, that you would change for the sake of her life. Not everyone thinks the same. How many people do you have to lose physically and personally for you to even "want" to change?
I feel bad for the women that he meets. I truly do. He is a womanizer and I don't believe for one minute he will treat them any different than he treated my mom. What they get now is sh** compared to the hell she went through. He doesn't even respect his parents or children, what makes you think he will respect you? You are nothing more than a person to pin the blame on when his sh** falls apart every other day. I honestly wish it could be different because there is someone that wants to help him, but unfortunately he hasn't changed.
While I will never discredit my father for being an awesome dad and provider, he did raise us well, but as a man and a husband to my mother, he was the worst.
My father has been an alcoholic for what I can recall 35 years. Probably starting before he was of the legal age until this day. Ultimately, it got worse when my mother was sick and passed in 2008. Many of my family members use her death as a crutch, better yet excuse, to do the things they do. This sickens me because it's almost like they are blaming her for dying, which she had no control over. In the last year or so, my dad has been in and out of the hospital with pancreatitis, fluid on the lungs, and after suffering a stroke, he now has an aneurysm on his brain. But, he still insists on drinking until he can't see straight and abusing the people that genuinely care for him, forcing them to stay away from him.
What I am so unhappy about is that at 25 years old, I still have to endure his alcohol and abuse. I've never been so vocal about my family issues until now because I know there are more people who have gone through or is going through the same issues that could possibly benefit from me. If you follow me on twitter, you probably have seen me tweet about my father being a substance abuser my entire life. I feel bad that I have to separate myself from him because I am his daughter and I should be there, but I can't. Not if I want to succeed.
You would think that after losing someone so close and someone that you love dearly, that you would change for the sake of her life. Not everyone thinks the same. How many people do you have to lose physically and personally for you to even "want" to change?
I feel bad for the women that he meets. I truly do. He is a womanizer and I don't believe for one minute he will treat them any different than he treated my mom. What they get now is sh** compared to the hell she went through. He doesn't even respect his parents or children, what makes you think he will respect you? You are nothing more than a person to pin the blame on when his sh** falls apart every other day. I honestly wish it could be different because there is someone that wants to help him, but unfortunately he hasn't changed.
While I will never discredit my father for being an awesome dad and provider, he did raise us well, but as a man and a husband to my mother, he was the worst.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Suicide Watch
On to a more serious note. The fashion world has lost an icon, Alexander McQueen, was said to have committed suicide. The talk is that it was prompted by the death of his mother about a week ago. So many can ask "was it that bad?"Technically, yes, it could've been that bad. Being that I have been to the place he was before he decided to end it all, I will say that I will never question someone's decision over their own life.
Losing my mother was like losing myself. She meant everything to me. There is not a day that goes by without a thought about her. I go to be every night with hopes of her visiting me in my dreams. I would give up everything to have her here today. She means more than any amount of money could buy.
No matter what material possessions, friends, future, etc, that may "look" good, may not always be good. Having millions, celeb friends, and a bright future is nothing when it comes to self. Self is who you have to deal with when all of that is gone. When there is nothing left to buy with your millions, your friends are elsewhere, and your future is a mere figment of your imagination, all you have left is self judgement. During my deepest days of depression after losing her, the last thing on my mind was money, friends, family, materialistic items or my future. It was self. Jumping out of an alcohol induced binge, I then realized that I was worth more than losing. I had people that looked up to me and loved me. But some do not make it out of that stage. I thank God that I did and in the same prayer, I pray for those that didn't/ won't.
Many would say that they are too "selfish" to take their own life, well how selfish is it to questions someone elses decision of their own?
I am not condoning "suicide" by any means. I have been in that dark place and lost people who were close to me that never made the more selfless decision.
"When you are alone, it's a dark and cold place."
Losing my mother was like losing myself. She meant everything to me. There is not a day that goes by without a thought about her. I go to be every night with hopes of her visiting me in my dreams. I would give up everything to have her here today. She means more than any amount of money could buy.
No matter what material possessions, friends, future, etc, that may "look" good, may not always be good. Having millions, celeb friends, and a bright future is nothing when it comes to self. Self is who you have to deal with when all of that is gone. When there is nothing left to buy with your millions, your friends are elsewhere, and your future is a mere figment of your imagination, all you have left is self judgement. During my deepest days of depression after losing her, the last thing on my mind was money, friends, family, materialistic items or my future. It was self. Jumping out of an alcohol induced binge, I then realized that I was worth more than losing. I had people that looked up to me and loved me. But some do not make it out of that stage. I thank God that I did and in the same prayer, I pray for those that didn't/ won't.
Many would say that they are too "selfish" to take their own life, well how selfish is it to questions someone elses decision of their own?
I am not condoning "suicide" by any means. I have been in that dark place and lost people who were close to me that never made the more selfless decision.
"When you are alone, it's a dark and cold place."
John Mayer and the KKK C*ck
"I have a Benneton heart and a David Duke c*ck."
Well, I'll be damned. I love John's honesty on his preference of women. It's fine with me cause my Polly doesnt want a cracker.
Even though I have heard about this Playboy interview long ago (either that or I have deja vu), it hit the blogs again yesterday. He was also asked about having a "hood pass" and he referred to it as a "nigger pass". I am hearing more people being pissed about his choice of twat than him using the "n" word. I could care less about either. I love black men and only black men, sooooo...Who am I to judge someone on their dating preference. I have my own that some may not like, but that is for me. I won't say that I will never date outside my race, but as for now, I can't see it.
I use terms about my race and other races that some may deem as racist, soooooo....I think its ignorant for one race to be able to use "derrogatory" terms and not let the other. Do I get mad when I hear someone saying "That black b****"? No, cause 9/10, they heard me say "That (insert race) b****". When you go to a comedy show, the black comedian is making jokes about all races and no one is getting offended or the "chink" joke dont make it to the morning news for stirring controversy. But, the moment a white comedian makes a joke about black people, we wanna fight.
All of yall get a BSTFUH. Get off the damn plantation.
Well, I'll be damned. I love John's honesty on his preference of women. It's fine with me cause my Polly doesnt want a cracker.
Even though I have heard about this Playboy interview long ago (either that or I have deja vu), it hit the blogs again yesterday. He was also asked about having a "hood pass" and he referred to it as a "nigger pass". I am hearing more people being pissed about his choice of twat than him using the "n" word. I could care less about either. I love black men and only black men, sooooo...Who am I to judge someone on their dating preference. I have my own that some may not like, but that is for me. I won't say that I will never date outside my race, but as for now, I can't see it.
I use terms about my race and other races that some may deem as racist, soooooo....I think its ignorant for one race to be able to use "derrogatory" terms and not let the other. Do I get mad when I hear someone saying "That black b****"? No, cause 9/10, they heard me say "That (insert race) b****". When you go to a comedy show, the black comedian is making jokes about all races and no one is getting offended or the "chink" joke dont make it to the morning news for stirring controversy. But, the moment a white comedian makes a joke about black people, we wanna fight.
All of yall get a BSTFUH. Get off the damn plantation.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)