Suicide Watch

On to a more serious note. The fashion world has lost an icon, Alexander McQueen, was said to have committed suicide. The talk is that it was prompted by the death of his mother about a week ago. So many can ask "was it that bad?"Technically, yes, it could've been that bad. Being that I have been to the place he was before he decided to end it all, I will say that I will never question someone's decision over their own life.

Losing my mother was like losing myself. She meant everything to me. There is not a day that goes by without a thought about her. I go to be every night with hopes of her visiting me in my dreams. I would give up everything to have her here today. She means more than any amount of money could buy.

No matter what material possessions, friends, future, etc, that may "look" good, may not always be good. Having millions, celeb friends, and a bright future is nothing when it comes to self. Self is who you have to deal with when all of that is gone. When there is nothing left to buy with your millions, your friends are elsewhere, and your future is a mere figment of your imagination, all you have left is self judgement. During my deepest days of depression after losing her, the last thing on my mind was money, friends, family, materialistic items or my future. It was self. Jumping out of an alcohol induced binge, I then realized that I was worth more than losing. I had people that looked up to me and loved me. But some do not make it out of that stage. I thank God that I did and in the same prayer, I pray for those that didn't/ won't.

Many would say that they are too "selfish" to take their own life, well how selfish is it to questions someone elses decision of their own?

I am not condoning "suicide" by any means. I have been in that dark place and lost people who were close to me that never made the more selfless decision.

"When you are alone, it's a dark and cold place."