The Explanation of Me

In the last post, I barely spoke on the little "break" I took from blogging only because I had a Barking Bitch in my ear. However, I do feel the need to explain what and why that break was necessary for me. It was not only a break from blogging, it was also a brief rest from life. I think I may have benefited more than I expected to, well, I really didn't expect to gain anything but sleep during that time and fortunately I was wrong. You would be surprised at all the noise you hear when you shut up. When I started blogging and in the process of writing my book, I thought that I could just write and write everyday and post numerous entries on a daily. I wanted to give people something that they could feel just by reading one of my sentences. There was so much that I wanted to say but I just couldn't get it to *snap snap* TRANSLATE on to paper. Therefore, I was forced to sit and think long and hard. Piecing together sentences and stories from a cluttered mind is not what's up. Some days, I would even contemplate the whole blogging thing over and over. The book came into play, and whether I had it in my mind to finish it. To be brutal, I haven't completed another chapter in months. I don't think its a lack of attention that I have for this writing thing, I think its an abundance of respect I have for my craft and for the people who respect what I do. To some, I may be a bench warmer in the blogging game, and that's fine. I actually would rather be in the audience anyhow, only observing how some (not all) compete against each other for clicks with mediocre (poor) writing abilities. Posting pictures along with two sentences (or one large sentence fragment with a large amount of grammatical errors) of your personal opinion of someone's attire or who's screwing who is what some think to be a blog at this moment. No shade to anyone who owns this type of blogging style. You shouldn't worry about me and my personal accounts because well, you shouldn't be competing with my blog. However, there are a few blogs that you should be checking for. Better style, better purpose and better substance. I also thought about this whole "branding" fiasco. And that's all it is. A huge bargain. You have to learn about "who you are" and "what is your product" as a BRAND. Those two are separate when it comes to your brand. Meaning, not everyone wants to buy you and all your baggage. Just some of it. The problem I have with that is that I am who I am. My writing alias maybe Lady Complex, but I am Ashley Leger. They are both equal. I chose the name due to the whole branding process, but I came to find that if nobody wants Ashley Leger, then why would they want Lady Complex? The same thing I talk about is what I write about. My potty mouth, my attitude, my everything is me. So, if that means I will not get "bought", then okay. I don't think I was ever meant to be sold anyway. Your "brand" goes hand in hand with who and what you chose it to be associated with. Not you as a person. It's you as a brand. Let's say, you personally hang out with a certain rapper or actress, but that person doesn't contribute to what you are trying to do or be as a brand. You have to keep those separate. Who may be a friend to me personally may not be a friend to my business. Now, in this day and age of the blogs, it's the total opposite with some people. Befriending people who are someone who could give two shits about you and your "brand" UNLESS they are benefiting from it. For bloggers that would be only mentioning, RTing or linking your blog when you are speaking highly of them. Then there is the form of payment. I took adsense off of www.MyLadyComplex.com months ago. Not only was I not generating enough clicks to even be paid two pennies, I didn't want the driving force of my writing to be a dollar. I am by far not shading anyone who can profit off of this, because there are plenty of bloggers that get much respect from me and deserve every check they receive. But, even for some of them, there was a time when there was no money coming from blogging. And as Fresh (the reason for my blogging) said there was also a time where blogging was fun. I don't know what time she is referring to because being a loyal reader of www.Crunktastical.net for years now, I couldn't see where it wasn't fun. But now, being a blogger myself, I see what she means. In my short time, before the money, before EVERYONE and their dog was a blogger, and people were "jacking for posts" and "verbs" ((c) Fresh and Miss Jia), there was a sense of meaning to every post. Instead now the people who bullshit around the blogosphere receive more credit than those who have purpose behind what they do. So for anyone who cares, who is asking, or whoever wants to have a great laugh, no, I am not getting paid to blog. To tell you the truth, I don't think I deserve a check from ads or anyone for that matter. For one, I am not putting enough work out to be paid and there are people who work harder than me that deserve that check. I like to think of myself as a woman of principle and integrity. So, being paid for something I am not truly giving my all to, or for something that I would call a hobby is greedy. Not that I am not giving my all to my work, I just feel that eventually when I fine tune my craft, my money will come then. What I am saying may sound a little too "selfless"; it is. My time will come and it is claimed and already written. I can't wait for that day. To those who use this blogging thing as a check, go for it. I say that blogging is the platform for my purpose. As for the book, "The Beautiful Tragedy", you'll have to wait a little longer. I may post a few excerpts, but for now, it's on a definite hold.