Thirst A** Ex Week: Four Page Letter

My sugarwall on twitter and fellow veteran bocks member, @WYGBA wrote a post the other say about her ex-boyfriend that I definitely relate to. So in dedication of those parched mofos, I am declaring this week "Thirsty A** Ex" week. Have a story? Join in the fun on roasting!

"Leave Me Alone (c) MJ

I asked nicely, don't call me, don't text me.

One of his biggest problems is that he never respected boundaries or rules. Initially, it was cute, cause I was the same way when it came to a lot of things. But the deeper our relationship got, the easier it was to become disillusioned by that. And this time last year, as our shit FINALLY came to an end... I admit, I was fucked up. I was reading blogs I wrote around that time. He really had me going. It took a lot to tear myself away from that. But I'm glad I did, cause he was toxic. But what's crazy is, he doesn't get it. He STILL to this day doesn't get that he was and is no good for me. I gave him too many chances at redemption, and that's what he's used to. You would think after a year of trying to get back in to no avail, he would have given up. I don't understand his persistance.

I thought we could be cool. Remain... friends, or something like it. He was there when my uncle died, and I appreciated it. But instead of him just being cool, he had to try to turn it into something else. As usual. Over the holidays he was doing the most, even after I told him I've moved on, that it's serious, and that we're so over we need a new word for over. So, we had a long conversation. In the end, I asked him to please not call me or text me anymore. There's no need for us to talk to each other if everytime we do, he's trying to get that old thing back.

So this morning I check the mail from yesterday. In the mailbox, I have a letter. From Arki Muthafuckin Williams. *sigh* I started not to even read it. I almost just threw it away. I wished I hadn't had my mail forwarded and it had somehow gotten lost in the shuffle... but it didn't. I read it.

"I know you said not to call. So I didn't. You said don't text. I haven't messaged you. But you never said I couldn't write, and there are things in my heart and on my mind I need you to know."

*sigh*

He went on to say that he missed me. That his Christmas wasn't the same, his New Year's, that he was anxious all day on January 4th cause for the first time after 5 years, he wasn't with me. He said that he doesn't know why I'm trying to deny that I love him. That I'm fooling myself thinking I'm in love with somebody else. That it's "too soon". That he's just another man I'm passing time with before I come back to him like I "always do".

He pissed me off. Cause he was real bold talking a lot of shit. But at the end of the day, I feel sorry for him....

Anyway, now I'm trying to decide whether or not I should respond... "


Damnnnn Homie.